Royal Enemies

CHAPTER 12 ~ ABHISHEK

The chaos of the room filled with people, new and old made me look down at my phone screen over and over again to try to find an escape. I just needed one excuse and I could just go sit in silence for a while, a silence where only my thoughts were allowed to speak. I looked up again, unable to busy myself with anything. My eyes scanned the room once again until they stopped briefly on my mother's smiling face and then soon after Trisha's face too. Over a month had passed since I last saw Akshita.

It could have been a good thing, If only I didn't have to sit everyday with my family and discuss the hot topic, us and our marriage. From the torturous moment our lips touched, I had hardly been able to escape my own dreading conscience. Her words from the other day lingered on the back of my head, how she called me a coward. it was what I had always known about myself but hearing her say it made me wonder if it was all worth it. I got up from where I sat and walked my way to the door, leading to a small balcony that gave the view of the gardens and the rows of roses that lingered on both sides. I smiled in mockery as my eyes stilled on the roses. I watched them very slightly swaying with every strong hit of the windy night. Roses, her cheeks, Akshita's.

How she looked at me with her grey eyes when I covered the distance between us to kiss her. She knew I would do that. Her eyes, the ambition of her victory of possessing me with her power lingered in them. the knowing that it was exactly what we both wanted was evident in how her lips parted before i even touched them. how wrong it was to feel the rightness of that one moment. a small frown made its way on my face with my eyes half closed as I focused on the memory more than I should have. But thinking about it had become a convenience to escape myself into resent and to keep finding conclusions and also resolves about what it led to. What about the next time I saw her which would be the day after. Of course, I will have control over myself but would the restraint be enough for me to conceal the confusion that got louder every day. 

I closed my eyes taking a small breath and my lips dropped in a flat smile as a laugh tickled in my chest. It reached my eyes but never made a sound. A laugh of mockery towards myself. All my inspirations and motivation to get back on her had just waffled away with time as I got used to having her around. But I had to leave myself no option, I had to complete what I started. I couldn't just leave it all amidst and let her have her way. I remembered what I promised, she wanted me to not tell her what to do. She wanted me to be a little less condescending, then that is what she would get. wasn't it better this way? No games, No struggle to score over her in any way.  Wasn't it actually the most powerful I could be over her? I could just erase myself from her life while I was there all along. She would have no control over me and I would let her be. Right?

My hands gripped the wooden railing running across the balcony's edge. I heard my mother call my name and I looked back over my shoulder. "Yes?" she took a few steps towards me, stopping just a couple away from me. I silently watched her until she finally said. "Everyone is here for you Abhishek, what are you doing outside?"

"The only thing they have to say are the best wishes and mock me about How lucky I got with marrying my girlfriend from school since that's the story you're telling them. I needed a break from hearing it over again." and the frustrating thoughts broke in that simple statement. The reality of the laugh lingered in the way I said those words. An urgent need to vent about how I was not really happy. My eyes watched my mother's falling eyes, but not into sadness, rather a sternness.

"What I don't understand Abhishek is why you have to be like this when barely a couple weeks are left in your marriage? I know something is bugging you, but what exactly are you thinking?" she put a hand on my shoulder as she walked closer.

"Nothing mom. Maybe because time is passing too fast and the pressure of everything is just...." I said to her not knowing what to add. I couldn't lie to her. I wouldn't be able to if I started so I just stopped.