Our Bloody Flowers

Chapter 6: The real of his words

Adam felt ridiculous. Even more when he realized that the food was delicious. He hated this place, these chairs, these tables and this manager. He hated being here and enjoying what he ate, drank. He wanted to disappear when those eyes landed on him. Two brown eyes, bright and warm. It was impossible to ignore the burning of his eyes on his neck. He had shivers and Mathilda giggled at every moment. Adam plunged into his chair, desiring to evaporate at any moment. He urged Mathilda to eat fast and leave. To go away because he was suffocating in this place. It was as if his skin was too small for his body and his bones cracked under his tight flesh.

"Hurry up" He gnashed his teeth when Mathilda put on her coat.

"Easy now, Adam" She replied too calmly which had a knack for getting on his nerves.

"Come on!" He cried almost like a spoiled rotten child. "I'm serious, I want to leave. Now" He insisted, feeling his body gently swaying back and forth.

"Ok, ok, let's go. Goodbye!" She said in a high- pitched voice, practically pushing Adam towards the exit.

Furious, he walked quickly and didn't notice that the manager had observed him. He had seen the way Adam lowered his head and moved quickly. He had seen his fists clenched in his pockets and the fabric tensed. The frown of his eyebrows, his lips drew back in a thin line. His long lashes flapping towards the ground. He was determined to learn everything from him, to decipher his micro- expressions that only he would be able to identify and classify. Nothing could stop him in fact, no obstacle, no barrier. Lukas caught one last time his brown curls before he turned the corner of the street. And so, Adam had disappeared from his field of vision.

"Adam, please wait for me!" Mathilda yelled a few meters behind him. "Come on, it wasn't that bad, he's flirting with you and you like it. There's nothing to be ashamed of!" She added.

At the same time, he stopped so clearly that she bumped into him. He turned to her with a black, simmering look.

"No! I don't like this guy, I actually hate him. He pollutes the air, he reeks of my personal space, he thinks he can do anything. I... I... I don't ever want to go back to his coffee!" He declared with his shoulders all tensed.

Mathilda breathed hard with him, waiting for a few seconds before answering him.

"Is it good, you finished your tantrum?"

"Yes" He said, bowing his head. "I'm going, I must reopen the shop."

Without another word, he escaped and left Mathilda high and dry. He didn't care if he seemed rude. Only his loneliness mattered at the time. Alone for the rest of his life, alone because no one could stand him for long. His shoulders rounded, his thoughts wandered endlessly towards what had happened. Shame and embarrassment were on his cheeks red. What a horror, he thought. It was horrible. Again, he had been unable to control himself and acted like he was the center of the world. He wanted to cry. His mother's hurtful words echoed in his head, further weakening him. Adam struggled to avoid people, he grazed them, did not apologize. He was looking for air, a safe place. His flowers. And the mother's words struck him once again, knocking him more.

Mathilda was right. It was just a tantrum. It will pass but for now, it cut his breathing. He almost stumbled, the view half blurred. The shop, quickly. Still a few steps, a last effort, a last meter. Adam almost collapsed on the glass door, his hands shaking. The scent of flowers at hand, he was saved. A tantrum that was always resolved by loneliness, his and those of flowers, it depended. A crisis narrowly avoided by the comfort of his shop. He knew this place, it was his. He had created everything from A to Z within these walls, he risked nothing. The scent of flowers filled the space and tickled his nostrils. Adam could easily smell the different fragrances. Some were soft, imperceptible. Others took up all the space and stole the show from more shy flowers. The smell of earth, potted plants quickly joined this crazy dance. Smell wet, dried, woody. His natural smell, which was worth many remarks.