The Secret Beneath Love (FONTAVILLA BROTHERS SERIES 3) ONGOING

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

"Forgive me," I pleaded in front of her. I tried to reach for her arm to hold it, but she kept pulling away. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin at pasimpleng pinunasan ang kaniyang luha. "H-hindi ko nasabi sa'yo kaagad d-dahil....d-dahil hindi ko kaya....d-dahil ayokong masaktan ka—"

"Putangina! Masaya ba? Masaya bang itago sa'kin ang totoo? Ang bigat-bigat, Zep! Hindi ako makapaniwala na may parte ng katawan kong hindi pala sa akin. Nakakaputangina naman!"

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as my face flushed, tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth right away because I didn't know how or where I'd find the courage. I didn't even know how to start.

I was the one who did it. I was the one who put it on her body, and I should've been the one to confess from the start. But I was too much of a coward. I couldn't even muster the strength to tell her the truth.

"Kaya mo ba ako pinapakisamahan?! Kaya ba gusto mo akong ginagalaw kasi putangina! Nandito, nandito sa akin ang ex-girlfriend mo! Nandito sa katawan ko!" Sigaw niya. "N-no, baby, n-no—"

"Don't fucking call me like that! Alam mo, eh! Ikaw ang humawak ng operasyon ko! Habang nagiging masaya ako sa'yo, patuloy mong tinatago ang sikreto!"

Humawak ako sa kaniya. Pilit siyang lumayo ngunit pilit akong lumapit. Buong pwersa ko siyang niyakap ng mahigpit kahit pa buong pwersa din siyang nagpupumigilas. "Tangina, Zep! Nakakatangina! Ang sakit-sakit! Sana hindi mo nalang itinuloy ang operasyon! Sana hindi mo nalang ako iniligtas! Sana pinatay mo na lang ako.... kasi nakakagago! 'Yung parte ng ex-girlfriend mo, 'yung unang babaeng minahal mo ay nasa akin!" Mahaba niyang litansiya.

"Sino ba ang minahal mo?! Sino ba sa amin?! Nakikipag sex ka sa'kin dahil ba—"

"No, baby, please huwag mong isipin 'yan."

Lumuwang kaonti ang pagkakayakap ko sa kaniya na siyang naging dahilan upang maitulak niya ako. Tumama ang likod ko sa pader ngunit hindi ko na ito ininda pa.

"Ang hirap naman ng gan'to, eh! Hindi ko alam kung magagalit ba ako o kung ano ang mararamdaman ko. Zep, nakokonsensya ako."

Her eyes were filled with pain, and I could see the weight of every unspoken word in them. She took a shaky breath. "You say you love me, right? but oh god damn I can't shake this feeling, this fucking nagging doubt. Every time we were together, I felt like I was competing with her ghost, like I was just filling the void she left behind."

"No," I choked out, shaking my head. "It's not like that. You are everything to me—everything. I swear, baby, I-i swear."

She wrapped her arms around herself, as if shielding herself from the words I was saying. "I've heard your promises before," she said, her voice breaking. "But I'm fucking scared. I'm terrified that I'm just a replacement. I don't know how to believe you, Zep."

"I don't know how to make you believe me either," I admitted, my heart clenching. "But I need you to. I need you to see that there's no one else, nothing else that could ever mean more to me than you. I love you... not for the past, but for who you are, now, baby."

She closed her eyes, and for a moment, I thought she might turn away and leave. But then she opened them, tears spilling down her cheeks. "Then prove it. Show me that it's damn real, Zep! Because I can't keep feeling like this... like I'm not enough—"

"You are enough!" Putol ko sa kaniyang sasabihin. "Really? Enough? Kaya pala madalas kong maramdaman na ginagawa mo 'yung ibang mga bagay na hindi ko naman nakasanayan dahil iyon ang nakasanayan ng ex mo, right?"

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