These Cages We Build for Ourselves

Chapter 1

Nash

Nash sits in his room at two in the morning, finally launching the game he downloaded weeks ago during another sleepless night. He's just passing time while he waits for the adrenaline in his system to fade and his chest to stop stinging quite so bad so that he can get some sleep.

The fight earlier left him battered and bloody. He had slapped on a clean shirt and told Niko that most of the blood belonged to the other guy, which was the opposite of the truth. Some of the blood was the other guy's, but most of it was his. It doesn't really matter though; his body will mend itself. Things will just be uncomfortable and messy until then. Niko fussing over him won't help with that.

He appreciates it, though. That Niko cares about him. It just feels a little silly to hire someone to be your muscle and then look so frustrated and guilty whenever he ends up actually having to fight. They're around the same age, but the way Niko looks at him always makes him feel younger.

Anyway, what will help is a distraction, and that's the point of this game. Mythic Frontiers. He played a lot of MMORPGs as a kid once he figured out how to get his hands on a laptop and find free Wi-Fi. Back then, he liked them because they were free and he was desperately lonely, but now what he wants from this game is the edge of simple monotony he remembers from them. The kind of distraction that doesn't require you to think. This game, he quickly discovers, delivers just that.

Kill ten bunnies for their lucky rabbit feet, the tutorial quest demands. Kill rabbits and take only a single foot from each, leaving the rest of their bodies to rot on the ground? Sure, why not. In the world of MMORPGs, there's no need to justify such wanton killing and waste. Kill precisely ten rabbits, and if you try to kill more, fuck you. There are no more feet to harvest, just a sliver of XP to collect.

Oh, and slightly better boots, of course. Nash squints at the new item in his inventory. Where did those come from? Was the rabbit wearing them? Did it shit them out when it died? In the world of MMORPGs, there is no need for an explanation.

Nash smiles to himself as he switches out his shoes, revelling in the rush of nostalgia. He can already feel himself starting to relax.

#

Aster

Aster gnaws on the inside of his cheek, his eyes fixed on the tutorial quest pinned at the top right of his screen: collect ten lucky rabbit's feet. The rabbits are right in front of him. Aster sits on his bed, hunched over his laptop, dressed in nothing but his thin cotton boxer shorts, and does his best to force himself to focus on the simple task in front of him.

His fingers drift to the piercing in his ear—a single, bitter ruby stud. Tonight, it throbs with a dull ache. It's the most expensive thing he owns, but it's the emotional energy that clings to it that gives it power. None of the jewels he wears were bought new; some gifts, others stolen, a few bought second-hand.

Shouting from down the hall competes for his focus, but that's what he's trying to distract himself from tonight. There's always something in this place. It took him nearly a week to get this game downloaded with their crappy, shared wifi, but the need for a distraction never wanes for long.

Tonight is particularly bad, though. Someone dragged in this girl who's deep in withdrawal from Quell, and her sobs and screaming are hard to ignore. Aster should sympathize—he knows that hell intimately—but all he wants is for her to shut the fuck up, to stop making him remember. He doesn't expect sympathy from others, so it's only fair that he offers none in return.

Quell is more of a curse than a drug. Threaded with magic, it's a kind of devil's bargain, a bet you make against yourself. You can have all the calm and inner peace you want at what seems like no price, but the moment you try to quit, you'll pay that emotional debt with interest. You'll have to feel everything you used that shit to suppress.Aster's own withdrawal had nearly killed him.