These Cages We Build for Ourselves

Chapter 8

The first thing Nash does after getting home from dropping Aster off is log into Mythic Frontiers. Aster's not online. Maybe that's for the best—Nash might've asked too many annoying questions about whether everything's okay. Still, it sucks having no way to know if Aster's even alive.

After a few days of Aster being a no show in game, Nash really does start to wonder. Before that night, he was around every evening. Now, Nash leaves his game idling in the background whenever he's home, and he doesn't see him once. Either something terrible happened, or Aster is avoiding him. Nash considers swinging by to check on him, but if it's the latter... talk about awkward.

Luckily, Niko needs Nash for a few jobs that week, plus he works as a bouncer on Tuesday and Friday nights. So it's not like he's just sitting around in a video game, waiting to see if the cute boy he's crushing on wants to play. Not all the time, anyway.

And things get pretty busy at the club on Friday, so for a lot of the night, he isn't even thinking about it. They serve a mostly supernatural crowd, and when things get rowdy, they get really rowdy.

Tonight, it's two werewolf packs with bad blood between them. Both decided to hit the club, and now neither wants to fuck off or play nice. Ideally, Nash would kick them all out, but you gotta pick your battles in this scene. He settles for running interference when things get too heated.

Nash has never really had beef with any of the local packs, but the wolves here tonight are around his own age. They can't resist challenging him. They might sneer and test his patience, but nobody who matters will give a fuck if he dishes it right back. Heck, even the wolves he's dealing with don't actually hate him. It's just part of the culture, this power struggle thing. Not that Nash's ever enjoyed it.

Despite all the nastiness, by the end of the night, Nash has turned down a half dozen invitations to hang out, two offers to fuck, and somehow become yet another thing for the two packs to squabble over.

By the time Nash gets home, he's exhausted, but something about feeling so rubbed raw makes him crave Aster's company even more. It's a strange source of comfort he can't really explain. It's not like Aster's ever been friendly.

He could write it off as mere physical attraction, but it feels like there's more to it. Their time gaming together means something, even if Nash can't put his finger on why. Aster gave him time and attention, and now that Nash has met him in person, that feels significant in a way he hadn't expected.

There are so many questions, so many unknowns about Aster, but Nash wants to uncover the answers slowly, carefully. He wants to know why Aster bothered playing games with him at all.

So Nash logs in, not really expecting to see Aster at this point. But there he is, online. And he's ten levels higher than when they last played together.

Nash hasn't levelled up at all. He's just been waiting. He thought Aster hadn't been playing, but if he's gone up ten levels...

That fucker blocked him, didn't he?

For a moment, Nash feels hurt and angry, ready to accept that Aster wants nothing to do with him. But then it clicks: if Aster really did block him, that means he's now unblocked him. Nash seeing him now is a choice Aster made.

Nash is still staring at Aster's character name, trying to figure out what to do, when a party invitation pops up. He accepts, and Aster sends him a waypoint link in chat. The zone's a bit above Nash's level, but with Aster babysitting him, he can manage—just like that bat cave where they first met.

This time they're killing wolves, and Nash isn't sure if it's supposed to be a joke or if Aster's just not thinking about the implications any more than the game devs did. The wolves even have pups, and they're just barging into dens and killing them all for no reason. Maybe if you went digging, some NPC would tell you the wolves were attacking travellers or something, but the game doesn't bother giving you any justification before you start your wolf genocide.

Aster doesn't say anything, so Nash doesn't try to start a conversation, no matter how much he wants to. If he's here, if he's playing, then he's alive, and probably at least mostly okay. Though after their two in-person encounters, Nash isn't sure what "okay" means for Aster. Did Nash see him at his worst, twice, or does Aster end up in those sorts of situations often?

Aster sends Nash only one message that night, just after two in the morning. It says, go to bed, and then Aster signs off. A smile curves Nash's lips. Okay.

They start playing together most nights after that, and eventually even start coordinating. Nash tells Aster when he has work, and sometimes Aster mentions when he'll be busy too, though he never says with what. Other times, Aster just doesn't show up or is late, without warning. Nash tries not to read too much into it, but it's hard not to fill in the blanks when Aster says so little.

When Nash hits level thirty, Aster ports back to the nearest town. Nash figures he's just clearing his inventory, but then he gets a new mail notification. He follows Aster to town to check it, unsurprised to find Aster's sent him something. What does surprise him is that it's a piece of level thirty leather chest armour, its name in pink text showing just how rare it is.

Has Aster been holding onto this, waiting for Nash to reach level thirty? It doesn't have bright, flashy particle effects like the skins you buy from the in-game store for real money, but there's gold trimming on it that has a shine to it and it looks a lot nicer than any of the other armour he's churned through up to this point. The stats are a nice step up, too.

Aster's standing nearby, and Nash wonders if he's checking out how Nash looks in the new armour. It's hard to tell—you can zoom and angle the camera while your character stands still.

Nash wants to thank Aster, but sincerity never seems to work on him. Instead, he types in party chat: You gonna block me if I call you my sugar daddy again?

Aster immediately goes offline, and Nash's stomach drops. But he's only gone for a moment. Nash isn't sure if it's a joke or a warning. He's never sure with Aster.

He wonders if Aster would like one of the fancy cash shop skins. It's hard to guess how much Aster cares about fashion when Nash has never seen him in clothes, but Aster cuts a striking figure without them. Nash suspects he cares at least a little. Maybe the tattoos and jewellery are purely functional, but Aster clearly takes care of his hair.

Maybe once they hit max level or something. It feels like too much right now, even if spending a few bucks to maybe make Aster smile doesn't seem like much at all.

But with Aster, who knows? Coming to his rescue was nearly too much. Or something. Nash still doesn't really know why Aster blocked him in the first place.