Whispers of the Past

5

Adhiraj's POV

"Hi Devishi! It's been ten long years. Seeing you again feels like a haunting melody echoing in my mind, both beautiful and torturous. All those years of praying for you, even though I don't believe in a god. All those fridge magnets I collected for you—each one a silent testament to my obsession, to the depths of my desire. I waited for this day for so long that now, standing here, I find myself speechless. What do I ask you? How do I even begin to unravel the years of longing? Did you miss me? Did I ever cross in the corners of your mind, like a shadow refusing to fade? Did you ever look somewhere and feel my presence, as if I were standing right beside you, smiling and watching you conquer the world? Proudly declaring to anyone who would listen, 'She's my girl'?

The thought of you drives me to madness, a deliciously painful madness that consumes every fiber of my being. I can hardly breathe, imagining how it feels to have you near, to feel your warmth enveloping me. It's maddening to think I've spent years talking to myself in the mirror, rehearsing words meant for you, sweet nothings and confessions that should flow so easily from my lips.

I stand here, a tortured soul in a quiet room, practicing the lines that feel like a lifeline restraining me to you. I imagine your laugh, the sound of it ringing in my ears like a siren's call, and the way your eyes would light up—those enchanting, ethereal orbs that hold the universe within them. They draw me in, making me forget the darkness that surrounds us. Devishi, my radiant Starling, how is it possible that a name can taste so sweet, yet feel so heavy on my heart? I yearn for you like the earth craves the rain, desperate and aching, ready to drown in the depths of your love.

Her affection is the forbidden fruit, a wicked temptation that binds my very soul. Each taste sends me spiraling into a world of sin, awakening desires I can't control. I would abandon my beliefs, kneeling in silent prayer, for the chance to claim her wholly—body, mind, and spirit. She is the only sin I crave, the dark fire that ignites my every thought. I'd willingly plunge into the abyss for just a moment of her intoxicating presence, forever yearning for more.

After she left, silence enveloped me like a suffocating shroud, a constant reminder of the absence that gnawed at my soul. My words turned to dust, buried beneath the weight of longing for a love I couldn't voice—my heart was hollow, echoing with the memory of her. Today, as I stand on the precipice of our reunion, it feels surreal, like the twisted culmination of years spent praying, yearning, and desperately wishing for just one glimpse of my Starling's radiant smile. She slipped away into the shadows after that fateful night, leaving me in darkness, my world forever altered.

Now that I hope she's coming, anticipation clutches my chest like a vice. How do I confront the sins of my past? How do I confess that I've sought solace in every temple, every gurudwara, every church, invoking gods I don't believe in, all for the chance to bring my Starling back into my life? How can I reveal that every milestone was nothing more than an empty masquerade, a hollow triumph devoid of her light? Each second since her departure has been a painful reminder of my cowardice, a relentless yearning that has turned my existence into a torment.

How do I articulate the shame that festers within me for not fighting harder? I was paralyzed by fear, terrified of her parents, too weak to stand by her side in her darkest moments. How can I express my regret for not reaching out to her when she was slipping away, my heart racing with the desperation of a sinner seeking redemption? How do I lay bare the raw ache of desire that consumes me, the insatiable hunger that has haunted my every thought for a decade?