Some names have been changed for this story for private reasons .
So , I was born in Salisbury and I grew up with my mum and my dad . I loved them dearly and would've trusted them both with any secret I had . We had 3 cats , Milo , Jester and Archie . That's the basics of my 'early days' in a few sentences . Here's where it gets confusing ... When i was 4 I started pre-school . We lived in Amesbury at this point , we didnt live far from the pre-school it was like a two minute walk from our house . A N Y W A Y I had a beautiful and amazing best friend called Amelia . We did EVERYTHING together even when we were little ! We would go to the park with eachother ( and our parents of course ! ). Amelia lived with her mum and dad and some of her older brothers and sisters. She had alot of family living with her in her small 3 bedroomed house . Amelia often stayed around mine as her family were busy or something had happened so she was around ours alot . Then Amelia moved away ... I didnt know where or why or what had happened but all I knew is that she had moved away to a lovely house with lots of other nice children to play with . I thought nothing of it . Obviously I was upset but what can you do when your 4 ... Another girl and he older sister moved into Amelias house ... The girl who'd moved into Amelias house was called Sarah and her older sister was called Natalie . Me and Sarah were best friends ! Then one day me and my family had to move away .... By this time I was 5/ 6 ... My mum had been rining Amelias dad often to ask what was happening and if everything was okay at Amelias new place ( my mum obviously knew Amelia had been taken into care ). She phoned regularly to check up on her and he often didnt pick up the phone . When I was 6 my mum got a phone call from Amelias dad saying her and her mum had been in a terrible car crash and Amelia had passed away . I was devestated . For a while we wondered why nothing had been in the newspaper , on the news or on the radio ? Eventually we began to stop questioning the event that had occured and learnt to live with what had happened. We moved back into Salisbury and yet again I made a new best friend . Her name was Katy . Everyday I would go around hers or she would come around mine . My mum became preganat and she had my younger brother , Joel , we were a happy family of 4 ! Katys mum also fell pregnant . Her brother , Christian, was born prematurely and now has disablites and was also recently diagnosed with a life limiting illness ... My mum fell pregnant again when i was 9 and my sister , Skyla , was born in July . We knew the house was way too small for all of us so yet again , we moved ... We are currently living in the house we moved to 6 years ago . My parents split up 4 years ago . This was an extremely hard time for me . My mum didnt tell me for 8 months that my dad had infact been coming home after work to see us and then leaving when we were asleep . I had to find this out by myself as neither one of them had told me ... Finding this out ruined me . From this point after I didnt trust my mum ... Our relationship is better now but it is still dodgy and i refuse to tell her anything personal .. anyway ... 6 months after I found out they had broken up , my mum told me that she had been seeing another guy . I met him and obviously I wouldnt have a say in wether i liked him or not so I went along with it all ... My dad moved out fully and stopped coming over . On New Years Day 2012 my mum brought her boyfriend ( Adam ) over to meet the rest of the family .My dad lived with his mum for a while . We still saw him but it was hard as my mum wouldnt keep track of when we were seeing him so there was normally a large amount of time between when we would see our dad . In 2013 my dad found a girlfriend and they soon got engaged . Adam then decided to propose to my mum and of course she said yes. In September 2014 they got married . My dads fiance then announced she was 3 months pregnant . My mum then announced in October that she was also pregnant . Life was very confusing and miserable . Everything was happening during my GCSEs and it was hard to cope . My dads fiance gave birth in April 2015 and my mum gave birth 2 weeks ago . Before my mother gave birth I found out some things that have shaken up , flipped and messed my world up completely .Amelia had infact been taken off to a childrens home when she was 4 ( when she moved away from me ) because her parents were incapable of caring for her . She hadn't been being fed properly , her attendance was low and people were concerned for her . This isn't the worst of what happened oh no . A month ago I recieved a message from Amelias older sister asking if I was in-touch with Amelia or if I knew of her whereabouts.I was confused by the message as I had been told that she had passed away . I replied back with ' I was told something a while ago about Amelia which Im assuming you havnt head about ? ' . I explained what I had been told and was then phoned by Amelias sister . She proceeded to tell me that what I had been told was a lie . Amelia was still alive . Her father was then in the newspaper recently . I read the article and was completely and utterly disgusted and shocked and upset from what I had read ... He had been charged to 30 years of prison for 21 known accounts of sexual assult . He had raped children , including some of his own .. Thankfully Amelia was not one of them but her older sister who had messaged me was a victim of this vile mans abuse . Recently Ive found it hard to concerntrate , to sleep to even have the energy or strength to go to school or to do anything . I got to a low point when i was 13 and that was the worst I had ever felt . I harmed myself and I regret every thing id felt , that id said and everything id done ... Even writing this is making me realise that although this story is barely anything and these topics arent as bad as some other peoples situations but these things have affected my life majorly . I can feel myself relapsing . I can feel myself falling back into the same state of mind as I was in when I was 13 . Yes Ive harmed myself recently and no i dont regret it because it helped . I'm sorry . These thi8ngs messed me up . ALOT ! But thank you for reading my story and yes im still struggling to come to terms with my mums new husband and how i dont even want him in my family , but i have to live with it . I see my dad every so often but i dont like his fiance's children from a previous marriage and they dont like me either . He knows of this situation and the fact that we dont get along . The whole Amelia situation couldnt have occured at a worse of a time . Im in the middle of my GCSEs and I have no one to talk to about everything and its upsetting me even writing this . I try to be there for everyone else but when it comes to me theres no one . It feels like somethings breaking inside of me . Im just so done with everybody I love leaving me . I dont want them to but im a mess . sorry .
