「Love is as beautiful as the sun, but if too much, it burns.」
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Myeong is a 19 years old girl who has always been lonely throughout her childhood. She grew up with her thoughts and observations as her only friends, or even enemies.
She e...
🔹️I look at him, tilting my head in a curious way. He then moves his eyes on mine again.
"Want to have your first relationship?"🔹️
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My eyes blink once, twice and yet another time. Is this also part of teasing between friends? Should I laugh? Maybe he was joking and he gets offended if I don't laugh at his joke.
I observed how his gaze searched in mine for an answer that I wasn't giving verbally. Why does he seem so serious?
My fingers find each other and start fidgeting out of nervousness.
The sun is perfectly behind Felix's head, accentuating his angelic and ethereal look. His lips are tight, as if he's eager to hear my answer.
But I don't know what I should do. What if he didn't really mean it? What if I answered and then he laughed at me?
Why would he want to be in a relationship with someone like me? My head starts to hurt, like it's exploding from the thousands of questions, creating a racket inside my little skull.
Serious or not, what would I want?
If I had the chance, would I really agree to take such a big step for the first time with... him?
I feel like everything is happening so fast around me. I still have to get used to the fact that we are friends... I can't think about that kind of future yet.
If things go wrong between us, then I will lose my only friend. Am I really willing to risk it?
I think Felix has noticed my particular indecision and he inflates his lungs in a big sigh.
"Hey, just... forget it." Felix's head drops on his shoes.
"I know you're still unexperienced about all of this, so don't feel too pressured. I shouldn't have asked you that."
"No." I say before I could even realise my actions. I widen my eyes, questioning my nonsense and sudden behaviour.
With that, I catch Felix's attention again, finding it particularly hard now to hold the eye contact.
He tilts his head to a slight 15º angle and his dark hair smoothly falls on his fair forehead.
"No? Is this your favourite answer?" His deep voice reaches my ears and I struggle to find a decent justification to my answer.
He knows I'm inexperienced in this field. I guess it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to get it. But it still made me feel embarassed and on a lower step than him.
What if I refuse and he will slowly start to distance himself from me thinking I'm boring and lame?
Does he even see me as a woman?
But what if I disappoint him in our hypothetical relationship? What if he doesn't find in me what he desires?
Although, I can also take this as a chance to get to know new things and adapt to other teenagers' lives. This is an opportunity to prove to myself that I have a worth too.
