In This Life

Favor

Liliana

Bright lights creeped into my closed eyelids, warm and bright, very bright. Always heard I had a bright future ahead of me the irony of it was this hospital lamp above me. Caressing my face with its brightness and if I had opened my eyes it would be burning my retinas.
"Surgical team is all set and ready to go" I hear a women voice say. Is this really the end of me? I thought.
"Liliana"? The same voice said
"Hmmm" I respond
"We will begin, I'll be placing this mask over your nose and mouth I need deep breaths as we start the count down" doctor said.
I only had strength to nod my head.
"I need you relaxed, I'll see you in a bit" she said
I hope to see you too. I stayed quiet only thoughts running through my mind, kept my eyes closed and wonder why me? Why would I get diagnosed with a brain tumor at just 16? Why did it have to be this way? I had been doing chemo but it didn't help doctors said it was better to extract the tumor from my head but with it comes consequences of either losing my memory or dying.
I suddenly feel a rubber mask placed in my face and I hear the count down start, will I remember him? Will he come when I wake or will he feel sadden by the sudden news of my death. Wish I could have seen him one last time but he never came around dad said they were disappointed knowing I was sick and he didn't bother....

10 years later......

Life is too short to love you in one, I promise to look for you in the next life..

I reread the sentence over and over not fully comprehending how someone could love another so deeply and passionately to want them even in the next life.

I close the book which was filled with many poems and love letters setting it aside on my right side from where I was seated. I loved coming by the library papa had built in the house for my mama, like her I was infatuated by many of authors and poetry writers. I guess one hopeless romantic escape is a page away.

My Papa loved my mama so dearly he had renovated this entire section just for her, he managed to get all exclusive hard cover books from many authors whom you wouldn't believe, I felt a need of believing there was atleast a hefty fortune worth of these books in here. But yet, even then so someone could love you so dearly and hurt you and the betrayal always stung worse.

My papa had an affair with my nanny, the affair went out way too long he left her with a child. Lucy which was that woman name had been impregnated by my father, she died during childbirth only leaving behind a son. His only son. But at the end he was an illegitimate child, one that he tried hide but decided coming up with the brilliant idea of having my mama raise him.

Throughout the years I seen my mama cry endlessly in her library she didn't have to say anything I knew she sobbed and sobbed non stop she loathed the poor innocent baby boy, she hated having to take care of him knowing he's the outcome of my father betrayal but yet she still did it to keep my fathers name clean and no scandals would be tarnishing our household. For that I respect my mama very dearly I held her so tight in my heart even more than my papa, he loved me but it changed a bit when his only son was here.

David, was my step brothers name he was the complete opposite of myself. While I was a brunette with hazel eyes he was a blonde with deep blue eyes. Yet no one ever questioned our differences, I don't hold him accountable but I couldn't bring myself to love him.

"Liliana?" I heard my mother calling from the hallway as she made her way towards the library

"Coming mama!" I raise up my voice and lift up myself from the ground.

Making my way towards the door, she enters and has a pale look on her face. Furrowing my eyebrows I await the bad news.

"What's the matter mama? Did something happen? Are you okay?"