Before I die- One Shot (Larry Stylinson)

Warning: It's sad, really sad :(

Frantic knocks on my door alarm me immediately. Part of me already knows who it is, but the other part just hopes it's somebody else. Let it be a homeless man, begging for a place to stay. Let it be an annoying kid who will run away before I've opened the door. Let it be a robber who steals my money. Just not him, he doesn't deserve it.

But as I open the door I meet the boy I didn't want to see. He falls into my arms as a mess of limbs, tears, sobs and coughs. It's been a relatively long time, but it feels like it's the hundredth time. I shut the door with my foot as I move towards my couch with the crying boy in my arms. His cinnamon hair flat and his usually beaming face a mess of snot and tears.

I manage to get us both up on the couch and hold the older boy for what seems like an eternity, violent coughs wracking his small body.

Older...

I hate to use that word nowadays. Yes, he's older than me, but he's not old. He's not old enough to deal with this, none of us are. I force my focus back on the current situation, listening intensely as I notice his sobs turning into words. "H-he...he...I-" I silence him softly, noticing he's not able to form words yet. "It's okay, cry. I'm here to catch your tears. Just cry, you rarely ever do while you're allowed to more than ever. I know, we all know you're having a terrible time so it's okay, cry. Cry until your tears run dry." I whisper to him, rocking us back and forth slowly.

I sometimes wonder when I will get hit by the impact of it all, it'll probably be an aftershock. I've always been the serious one out of us five, the 'daddy' that cared for everybody. I still am. But it's not always a good thing. For one, I'm not good at dealing with stuff. I can deal with other people's stuff and help them, but I'll never think about it again afterwards. This time I know I can't do that, this involves me in so many ways I shouldn't hold back. But it's something I can't control, a habit I guess.

Blue eyes look up into mine, bloodshot and dull. "It's-s not f-fair." He stutters. I see the small bits of anger weave into his eyes as I have so many times before. "No, it's not." I agree, waiting for his rant to start. But to my surprise, it subsides. The boy seems to shrink and he lays his head on my shoulder in defeat, the terrible sound of his coughs echoing through the room. I run my hand through his hair, I know it comforts him although it comforts him more when he does it. We stay silent for a while, the broken boy next to me softly whimpering every now and then.

"I love him." He suddenly whispered, causing my heart to shrink painfully. "I know you do." I whisper back at him, wincing slightly as he roars yet again. "I finally found him, he's it. The one." He continues, voice raw and hoarse. I slip my arm around his small waist, biting my lip as I remind myself how much weight he has lost. "Yes." I reply. "He is." The weak boy sobs once. "I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with him." His voice is so fragile that I nearly breaks from just speaking. "I wanted to have a family with him, love him forever," -Cough- "but now I can't even kiss him anymore." I look down sadly, softly squeezing his hand.

"I don't deserve this!" He suddenly calls out, sitting up straight. "I was supposed to never grow up until I wanted to," -Cough- "Until we would both grow up and grow old" -Cough- "Together!" The small boy doubles over in a fit of coughs which was expected after this outburst. I softly rub his shaking back, guiding him through the attack. I grab the tissues from the coffee table as I see the blood on the boy's hand. I wipe it away swiftly and dab his face with it as well to clean him up a bit. The pained boy lets his head fall into his hands as he softly cries. I open my mouth to say something but get cut off by my phone ringing. I grab it and hear the expected voice at the other line.

"Liam! He's gone! I just went out for a quick errand for ten minutes and now he's gone!"

"Calm down! He's with me, he's okay. I got him." I quickly interfere before the voice can really get panicked.