Unresolved

I lean back in my chair, my face buried in my hands, looking down at the page count, ten pages down and only twenty to go. I just want to graduate already. I only have a year left till I can get my master's then I can write what actually interest me and hope and pray someone will publish me. My phone vibrates loudly on my glass desk pulling me from my thoughts. I know who it is, and I really don't have the mental capacity to deal with this I need to get this assignment done. My professor is the kind of teacher who doesn't care if you died, you better have your assignments in, he also happens to be my boyfriend? Casual fling? Friend with benefits? I don't know honestly. I'm such a cliché. The nerdy book worm in a tantalizing affair with my professor. My phone vibrates again, and I groan but pick it up.

"Jellybean?" My father says as soon as I pick up his warm tone making me smile, don't get me wrong I love my family, my mother and father are incredible loving and doting parents. My three older brothers are protective, and kind and I love them dearly, but my life just isn't perfect like theirs.

"Hey dad" I say pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I finally caught you kiddo" he says chuckling.

"You got me. What's up?" I ask looking at my computer screen. I sigh and slam it shut. Standing up and flopping on my bed.

"Johnny proposed to Sarah, and she said yes! So, your mother was trying to have dinner to celebrate" crap here we go. "So is there any way you can make it to dinner tomorrow night?" I am incredibly happy for my brother but I really don't want to drive six hours. "You know your Ma would really love all you kids to be in one place at the same time" cue the guilt trip.

"Dad I-I" I stutter when he sighs.

"We haven't seen you it seven months Cal, we're worried you're up there in the big city all alone, we barely hear from you" he says sadness in his tone.

"Dad come on that's not true I call every week, and we agreed if I want to get into publishing and writing New York was the best place for that" I argue slightly irritated.

"I didn't know that meant you would never come home, can't you write here? Isn't everything online now a days?" I sigh and close my eyes, rolling over and putting my face in the pillow.

"Okay dad I will be there" I say muffled into my pillow.

"Oh, good I will tell your mom and brothers" he says, and I hear mom in the background. "Oh, ma says Carter can make it, we weren't sure if he could. You haven't seen each other since the summer after you graduated! You always seem to be here at separate times!" he says cheerfully. Yeah, that's on purpose dad. I silently scream into my pillow.

"Oh goodie" I say sarcastically but who am I kidding this man doesn't understand sarcasm.

"I know I will tell him your coming jellybean! I love you!" The awful nickname of my childhood rears its ugly head again.

"Greaaaaaaat. I love you too!" I quickly hung up the phone and tossed it aside. I press my nails into my palms, a bad habit I've had since I was a teenager. I roll on my back and stare at my ceiling. Carter fucking Whitlock just kill me right now. Even his name makes him sound like some douchey fancy rich guy type which is fitting now. He graduated from Harvard and is some hot shot attorney living in Seattle. He is that super annoyingly good-looking kind of person six four, dark curls of brown hair, piercing green eyes, super fit but not like a meat head. He has been Johnnys best friend since kindergarten and a part of the family. He visits home every chance he gets, every holiday, special occasion, family event. Pretty sure my family loves him more than me. My parents adore him, they attended all his events, and he even lived with us for a year and spent every summer home from college at home. They think of him as a son, and my brothers think of him as a brother which is a little complicated from me because I'm so insanely attracted to him its crazy.