Under My Skin - A Spencer Reid Fanfiction.

Chapter 5: Nightmares

TW: Nightmares, Brief mention of past addiction, Brief mention of cults 

Song for the chapter: forwards beckon rebound - Adrianne Lenker 🎵

"Villain and violent, infant and innocent,

Baby both arms cradle you now, both arms cradle you now."

📖

The hotel's entrance loomed ahead, a quiet haven before the storm we were set to face in the morning. Hotch's voice still echoed in my mind— telling us about the newly discovered disappearances. The team was tense, but no one said much— we were all hoping for a breakthrough after weeks of restless work with no outcome. We checked in, grabbing key cards and exchanging weary glances.

"Tomorrow's going to be another long day," Rossi muttered, falling into step beside me as we made our way down the hall. "But tonight, we could use a break."

I stifled a yawn, feeling the weight of exhaustion setting on my shoulders. "Yeah, no kidding," I replied, running a hand through my hair. "I don't know about you guys, but I could use a drink."

It wasn't long before the team found themselves in the hotel lounge, drinks in hand, and a sort of casual, comforting energy settling over us. Garcia, always one for team bonding, insisted on some light-hearted trivia to break the tension.

"Alright, my crime-fighting warriors," Garcia announced, her smile infectious as she waved a hand in the air. "Who's ready for some hotel trivia?"

Hotch groaned his expression deadpan, as usual. "You've got to be kidding me." J.J. chuckled, raising her glass slightly. "Come on, Hotch. Lighten up a bit."

Morgan groaned but smiled. "Do we really want to get into this with Reid? The man's practically a human encyclopedia."

Reid, sitting across from me, adjusted his glasses and gave Morgan a smirk. "I'll try not to be too competitive."

Garcia let out a heavily exaggerated gasp, feigning surprise. "Reid being competitive? Never!" The group laughed, the atmosphere lightening a little— which was very much needed.

The game unfolded in a mixture of groans and laughter, with Reid predictably dominating the trivia rounds. I couldn't resist throwing in a few teasing remarks whenever he rattled off some obscure fact, his expression a mixture of pride and irritation. It was nice, the lightness of it all. For a moment, we weren't BAU agents on the hunt for a killer. We were just people trying to distract ourselves from the inevitable. The death and sadness that we were bound to see tomorrow. Even Garcia wasn't safe behind her screens.

The game wound down, everyone retreating to their rooms one by one. I headed to mine, but the second I was alone, the weight of everything came crashing back down.

I closed the door behind me, the buzz of friendly banter quickly quieting as I was alone for the first time since we arrived. The silence was almost jarring, an uncomfortable reminder of the tension I'd been trying so hard to ignore.

⌛️

I lay on my back, staring at the ceiling of the dim hotel room, the memories creeping in like they always did when the world around me got too quiet. The nightmares. The twisted faces of people I once trusted, the echoing chants, the feeling of being trapped. My heart pounded in my chest, the retentions of the cult flooding back, vivid and suffocating.

All I could see was the taunting ghosts of my past— unable to just let me rest— even for one night.

Sleep was impossible. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours before finally giving up. A cold sweat covered my body, clinging every inch as I slipped out of bed and made my way to the motel's outdoor communal balcony.'