Shadows of Doubt
Our lovely trip ended on that note. We never left the hotel room the next day, as he's worried about me. He's worried that I might not be able to handle the long walks after doing the deed, so we just spent the day resting in the hotel with him taking care of me.
On his last day before heading back to London, we spent the day wrapped in each other's arms. As if trying to hold in to each other's warmth for as long as possible.
That night, I slept in his room. We held each other close as we drifted off to sleep. When the morning came and it's now time to say goodbye, I helped him with everything he needs to pack. I tried my very best not to get emotional so that he wouldn't have to worry about me.
I didn't go with him to the airport because he didn't want me to watch him leave. He said if I did, he'd feel an overwhelming urge to stay, and he knew I wouldn't want that. So I agreed with him.
He was right. Watching him leave would have made it harder. Saying our goodbyes in the apartment was more bearable because this space comforts me. This is our home, after all.
He planted a soft kiss on my lips as I stood in the doorway. Then, gently, he tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear and smiled.
"I'll be back," he said, and with those words, he turned and left.
He was heading to a different country, and as the door closed behind him, my heart grew heavy. A part of me wanted to pull him back, to beg him not to leave. But then my eyes caught sight of the ring on my finger, and all those thoughts came to a halt.
A sense of warmth enveloped me, calming my restless heart. I brought my left hand to my chest, clasping it with my right.
"I'll wait for you, my love," I whispered to myself.
"Zyrelle, lakasan mo ang kapit kay Dwayne at wag mo syang binitiwan." Sabi ni Mama.
Napakunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi nya.
What is she talking about?
Napairap sya nang makita ang naging reaksyon ko. Humugot sya nang malalim na paghinga bago nagsalitang muli.
"Huwag ka nang magtanga-tangahan dyan," she said. Her words caught me off guard and created a small cut in my heart.
Kinagat ko ang pang ibabang labi at umiwas nang tingin.
"Alam kong alam mo ang ibig kong sabihin." Dagdag pa nya. "Huwag mong hahayaang magloko si Dwayne sayo."
Nakita ko ang pagpasok ni Papa. Nang makita nya kami ni Mama na nakaupo sa may sofa ay lumapit sya sa amin at tumabi kay Mama.
"Ano na naman ang pinag-uusapan nyo?" Tanong nya.
"Pinagsasabihan ko lang itong si Zyrelle, Pa. Ngayong nasa London ang boyfriend nya ay hindi malabong makahanap 'yon ng ibang babae." Sabi ni Mama.
Tumango-tango si Papa. "Ah, oo. Hindi nga malabong mangyari 'yon lalo na't malawak ang bansang 'yon. Madaming magagandang foreigner ang nandoon."
"Kaya nga. Madaming mga babaeng di hamak na mas maganda kaysa sayo." Sabi ni Mama na nagpabaling ng tingin ko sa kanya.
Tinignan nya ako mula ulo hanggang paa na para bang ineexamine ang kabuuan ko.
"Hindi ko nga alam kung paano mo nabingwit 'yung boyfriend mo." Sabi ni Mama nang ibalik nya sa mga mata ko ang paningin nya.
Para akong nanliit sa paraan ng pagtingin nya sa akin.
She's looking at me like I'm not good enough, like there's something about me that's lacking. Her eyes held something that made me feel small.
BINABASA MO ANG
In The Shadow Of Regret
Romance"When you choose to love, you must understand from the very beginning that pain is inevitable." - Zyrelle Zyrelle Dayne Locre always expected things to end bitterly. Yet, when that bitter ending finally came for her, she was unprepared for just how...
