tw: eating disorders
paige's pov
i looked down at the weight of my chest, none other than a peacefully asleep mya. i ran my hands through her hair as i scrolled through tiktok, occasionally coming across edits of me.
i scrolled for a few more minutes before sighing, putting down my phone down.
i continued running my hand through the strands of mya's hair, but i couldnt help but drift my thoughts to earlier when we were eating.
she always ate little, during meals or replacing lunches with snacks. i didnt wanna question her because i know how uneasy it could be for her, but i needed to confront her about this, talk to her about it, help her through it.
she started stirring in my arms as i continued playing with her hair, knowing she was about to be up soon.
"hey baby." i greeted softly, not wanting to startle her.
"mmm" she hummed, her voice raspy and a little hoarse.
i chuckled at her tone, caressing her cheeks now. "had a nice sleep baby?" i questioned, knowing her answer. it was always 'yes' when she was asleep on me.
"mhmm" she hummed again, as she was now looking at me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"i know this is what you least expect right now, but i gotta ask you something, okay?"
"yeah"
"do you have a bad history with food, love?" i caressed her cheeks as her eyes dilated.
mya's pov
"do you have a bad history with food, love?" paige questioned. i was mentally beating myself up, though i knew this question was gonna come out of her mouth soon.
"yeah." i mumbled, almost inaudible. i felt guilty. bad. disappointed of myself. paige doesnt deserve someone like me, someone insecure about themselves. someone who cares so fucking much about their body and weight.
she tilted my chin to look at her, her thumbs continuing to caress my cheeks.
i couls feel tears forming in my eyes, i dont know why. was it normal? is this how people like me feel? whats wrong with me?
"baby- mya, baby look at me." she snapped me out of my thoughts.
"hm?" i hummed silently, clearly still in a state of mind.
"im not gonna scold or lecture you love. im proud of you, im proud of you for trying even if you dont want to. im appreciative you try for me, i see that. im grateful you pish yourself for another bite, or when you dont wanna embarrass me infront of my friends. and i know youre trying everyday, and im immensely proud of you for that." she praised. and for the first time, ive never felt so loved. so cared for. so understood. so appreciated.
"i-i-it's nothing to be proud of... or to be commended on... b-but thank you paige." i uttered out.
she tilted my chin up once more, pressing a kiss to my lips then pulling away. "dont thank me love. just continue trying and trying, just dont give up. i love you for who you are, and nothing will change that. i promise youre perfect, as well as your insecurities. they dont define you. what defines you is your character, and most importantly, be who you are. i fell in love with you for who you are, so please, dont think negatively about yourself." she continued. "even in the toughest times, when you need help, or if youre struggling to eat or whatnot, i want you to know that you can always reach out to me, or kk, azzi, everyone. just please, dont shut us out and come to us whenever you need help, okay?" she questioned.
i nodded, grateful that i had paige with me right now. "yeah, i'll try..." i voiced out.
she placed a kiss on my head, smiling. "good. now lets get ready for an amazing party shall we?"
i nodded, "but i gotta confess something." i spoke up.
"what is it hm?"
"just... if i drink more than two shots... please stop me even if i go all crazy. i dont have a high tolerance of alcohol." i admitted.
she chuckled and then nodded. "even if i have to fight you?"
"well... i mean i cant fight this body can i?" i said, my eyes roaming over her body.
"no you cant." she said as she started getting out of bed, me following behind her excitedly.
author's note
gn. im falling asleep once again
