Forever you - English Version

Chapter 2

REBECCA

I got into my car, thinking about how I would tell Irin that everything was fine, how I could lie to my friend about something that even I didn't know, yet she apparently knew exactly how I was feeling. I still haven't stopped to think about how I really feel knowing that my brother will soon marry Freen. I can't imagine the two of them together; just considering the possibility makes my stomach hurt and my heart waver with this information. I thought that with time, the feelings I had when I was younger would pass, that it would be just a teenage crush. Every day, I asked God to make me see her only as an older sister, the same way she saw me as someone younger. Until today, I lived well, even though I missed all of them. I kept some contact with my parents, but they never mentioned the romance between the two.
They knew about my feelings back then, knew that I was confused and afraid to admit it to anyone, and they supported me when I wanted to finish high school in London and start law school. I remember clearly that after my grandmother's death, I wanted to leave the village, to disappear and never feel anything that wasn't reciprocated. I changed after understanding my feelings, and everyone noticed, especially my best friend. She felt my change day by day, and it made her suffer too. That's when I decided to talk to my parents. I could never forget that memory, as it was the first time I said out loud that I was in love with her.

MEMORIES

I was in my room, holding a photo of my grandmother along with one of Freen—the two greatest loves of my life—feeling like my heart could stop at any moment. It had been exactly one month since she had passed away, making me promise that I would be happy and achieve all my dreams, but I knew I wouldn't be able to fulfill one of them. Something had changed in me; I was different, and I couldn't explain it to anyone who asked. I looked at the picture of my dear grandmother and asked her to help me, to ease the pain of not having her as I wanted. That's when my mom spoke, standing at the door of my room, watching my state and my tears.
-Becky, my love, what is tormenting your heart, my daughter?- I heard my mother say as I felt her approaching. She sat calmly on my bed. - Dear, I know the loss of your grandmother has been hard for you. It's hard for me too, and I know it's not just that which is troubling you.

-Mom, please, I don't know what's happening to me,- I said, crying, crying so much, hoping that the pain would go away. "I just want it to stop hurting. I just want my heart to stop beating."
My mother immediately pulled me close, laying my head on her lap. I could feel her heart's anguish as she watched me in such a state. Seconds later, my father entered the room and knelt in front of us.

-Daughter, if you can share what's happening, we can find a solution,- he said, running his hand through my hair, and I could see tears welling in his eyes. "Becky, you're my princess, and I can't bear to see you like this. Your friends are worried, we're worried, and you won't even see Freen, Becky!

That was my breaking point. Hearing that name was the end of me. I cried, only cried, hugged my parents, and tried in every way to crawl back into my mother's womb. I thought about Freen, how wonderful she was to me. I thought about our moments on the beach, looking at the stars, and how many promises we made there that we would always be together, supporting each other, that I would always have her, and she would always have me. I was about to break all those words, about to break myself without even realizing it.

-Mom, Dad! - I sat up, looking at both of them, who were crying from feeling my pain without even knowing the cause of it. - I can't stay here anymore, not after understanding what I feel. I want to go back to London, Dad.- I looked at him and saw the shock on his face. - I talked to Irin; I can stay with Aunt Lauren for a while.- My mom looked at my dad, unsure what to say or if this was the best solution.

- Daughter, your whole life is here, Becky—your friends, Fre..— My mother immediately stopped my dad from saying her name, as she had already realized that the cause of my pain could be the long-haired girl, that the reason for my escape was the Thai girl with big, bright eyes. - Becky!- he sighed deeply. - At least tell your mother and me what's happening. I'm asking you, princess.