Grow up

Chapter I

Kylan sat at his desk, today was tough. He's exhausted and just wants to sleep, except,he cannot.

The math homework from 2 weeks ago sitting on his table, An F in red haunting him. His grades had gone down drastically after moving to Oregon.

"Why can't I just focus? What's wrong with me?". He sighed, frustrated at himself. The wind blowing outside cast a cold atmosphere around kylan, a cool contrast to the hot room.

how am I going to tell dad? He has enough to deal with. Bill's,food...mom.

He shivered at the thought, memories from the past playing over in his head.
His mother never liked him, insults and hurtful mannerisms were thrown at kylan since he came into the world.

The woman is bonkers, off her medication. Although her presence had become irrelevant when she was placed into an institution.

Bi-polar disorder. The thought ran through kylan's head, his face hardened.

With a groan,he finally took the paper off his desk. Heading out his room to his father's office. Stood at the Brown door, the white paint underneath it chipped, kylan knocked.

"I don't what happened, I swear that bitch has it out for me". Kylan grumbled, sitting across from his father.

"Don't talk about your teacher that way, I raised you better". His father said firmly. Setting the math paper on a pile of the previous ones.

"You're an intelligent kid, kylan. What's going on? Talk to me kiddo." His father softened, resting his arms on his desk.
Kylan sighed and looked anywhere but at his father.

"I-dont know. Mom still bothers me,ever since the incident back home." Kylan replied, a hint of sadness to his tone.

His father's face hardened. A flash of hurt and vulnerability etched. "Still thinking of her? Forget about her. You know better than to think of her". His father spat, clasping his hands together tightly.

Kylan stayed stoic, expecting an immature reaction from his father. He is always like this, a real piece of shit sometimes. Yet,he sat quiet, studying his father's features, hardened and sour.

"I know the incident was traumatic but I've been through worse with her." In a bitter tone, his father crossed his arms.

Kylan's eyes widened, that was unexpected. His stoic demeanor crumbling completely, replaced by invalidation.

His words caught in his throat. Kylan stood up and walked out the gloomy office. The pictures of late ancestors and family members looking through his soul.
His father hadn't bothered to run after his child, glancing at the math test before continuing his work.

Kylan locked his door, kicking off his shoes and getting into bed, crying out into his pillow. Grasping onto the soft comfort with anger and hurt, he cried out any discomfort and invalidation.

Pulling him out of his thoughts and lifting his head from his pillow, his phone caught his attention. A ding echoing through his room.

He picked up his phone, wiping a tear off the screen.

Of course it was a text from his best friend, Darren. Asking if they were going to meet at their usual spot by the park. Kylan smiled softly and got his shoes on again, pushing away any feelings from earlier.

Kylan made sure to keep his door locked, a blanket thrown over a bunch of pillows and his location on his phone turned off. He took off through his window, the sound of his shoes hitting the roof tiles hit a sense of familiarity through kylan.

Not long after he sat down by a secluded bench, Darren frog leaped over his head and sat opposite kylan.

"You look like shit". He joked, poking kylan's arm playfully. Earning a scoff, Darren took out a yellow and green pen device.

Kylan took three puffs before sighing and lifting his knees to his chest. "My dad's being a dick again". He mumbled, blowing out the fruity smoke.

Darren sighed, a knowing look took over his features.
"When is he never? Old bugger can't get over himself."

Kylan chuckled, taking another, long puff of the fruit vape. "God he even spoke about getting into dating. It's been a year since my mom was put into Macwoods." He rolled his eyes.

Darren groaned, "you're kidding, right? That's so cheesy. Sickening". He set the yellow pen down, turning to face kylan.

"Show me your wrist." He demanded gently, putting his hand out to the boy opposite him.

Kylan rolled his eyes. "I'm not cutting anymore, I've been 2 months clean." He said, a slight hint of irritation in his voice.

Darrens eyebrows furrowed, not appreciating being denied.
"Show me your wrist." He repeated, gesturing for kylan's wrist.

Kylan sighed and stuck his arm out, looking anywhere but his arm.
A shiver ran through him as Darren traced over the purple scars.

"Do you really have to touch them?." He asked, an uncomfortable feeling growing within him strengthened.

Darren sighed and let go of his arm, giving the younger boy space. "I'm sorry, I know you hate it but I just want to make sure you're okay." He said softly, his tone laced with care.

"I know you are." Kylan smiled softly before inhaling the fruity smoke again. With an exhale he stood up.

"I'll catch you at school tomorrow, I should go before my father figures out I haven't eaten yet." He rolled his eyes and handed Darren the vape.

"See ya, and don't be late to Mr.Sood's class." Darren reminded before heading the opposite direction.

The walk back home to as eerie, it was dark and quiet. Everyone rested cost in their houses while the wind howled.
Kylan's footsteps interrupted the peace, his hands shoved into his pockets. A sense of dread washed over him as he grew closer and closer to his house. It's not a home.

It was peaceful and quiet if he ignored the pit in his stomach. Peace is all he needed and wanted, desperately.

I wish I had this growing up.
He thought, kicking a near by rock.

With a few scratches and groans, he was now sat at the dinner table.

Kylans POV:

Why does it have to be so awkward?
I thought to myself. I wasn't allowed to eat in my room, being forced to sit at this forsaken table.

Hearing my father chew his chicken and slurp his mash was enough for me to flip this table over.

The uncomfortable silence was starting to affect me, Jeez. Just say something, anything!. My thoughts grew louder as I continue to play with my peas.

"Eat your food, it's getting cold". My father's voice broke the silence.

Finally.

"I'm not really hungry, I haven't been for awhile." I admitted, hoping to change the topic.

"I work hard to put that chicken on your plate. Eat your goddamn food." My father's voice was laced in irritation.

I look at him before setting my fork down. "I'll take for school tomorrow." I lied, hoping he'd believe me.

With a nod and a dismissive wave, I was sent to bed. Lying with my thoughts.

I was never proud of, from both parents. Always seen as the disappointment.

The problem child.

I tossed and turned before finally drifting off to a slumber. Pushing away any thoughts for the night.