the streets were alive with neon and noise, but aubrey felt dead inside, drifting through the crowd like a ghost. she moved through the club, past faces that blurred together in the dim light. she didn't want to be here—didn't want to be anywhere, really—but she knew that if she stayed still too long, if she stopped moving, she might think about him.
luka.
he was everywhere and nowhere, a presence she couldn't shake, even though she knew she should. people asked her what it was like, knowing him. but how could she explain? how could she put into words the way he haunted her, even when he wasn't there?
the city sky hung low, almost pressing down on her as she stood outside crave, the club where they first met, where everything changed. the weight of it all—the buildings, the streetlights, the sounds of a city that never stopped—made her feel like she was suffocating. she craved the quiet, the dark, the loneliness, but everywhere she went, it was like his shadow followed her.
people passed by, not even seeing her. they were just like the strangers inside the club—familiar but empty. no one mattered. not really. she just wanted to forget, but every corner of this city reminded her of him, every dark alley and quiet bar whispered his name.
aubrey closed her eyes and let the chill of the night settle into her bones. she wanted to go back, back to the way she was before him. before she knew what it was like to need someone so badly it hurt. oh my god, she thought, take me back to the way that i was.
but there was no going back. not with luka.
he had always been one step ahead, always had it easy, like nothing in the world could touch him. he played games with her heart, and she let him, because the way he looked at her, the way he made her feel—she didn't want him to forget her. no matter how twisted things got, she wanted to matter to him. but she knew they were different. he would never feel what she felt. he had already crossed the line, and she was still chasing him, still caught in his gravity.
she felt her phone buzz in her hand, and for a moment, she hoped—hoped it was him. but it wasn't. it was just another ghost, another reminder of the life she was trying to escape. she tossed her phone back into her bag, breathing in the cold night air, hoping it would clear her mind.
but it never did.
inside crave, the music was pounding, the bass rattling her bones. the dim lights cast shadows on the bodies moving on the dance floor, people caught in their own worlds, their own nights. aubrey watched them, her body still, her mind racing. she didn't belong here, but she kept coming back because maybe, just maybe, she'd see him again.
the first time she met luka, he had been standing right there, by the bar. he was all sharp edges and dark energy, like he was made of smoke and danger. she'd wanted him from the start, but it wasn't that simple. it never was. with him, everything was a game, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't win.
she ordered another drink, her fingers tightening around the glass as she looked around. all the strangers looked the same, just like the nights she spent searching for him, for something that felt real. she was crawling through these streets, trying to outrun her own ghosts, but no matter where she went, there he was, just out of reach.
my baby's no good for me. the words echoed in her head, a truth she didn't want to admit. he wasn't good for her. he made her feel lost, made her feel like she was suffocating, but she couldn't walk away. not yet.
her chest tightened as the memories flooded back—his touch, his voice, the way he could make her feel alive and dead at the same time. she was always torn between wanting to be near him and needing to get away. but no matter how far she ran, she always found herself coming back.
she closed her eyes, wishing she could breathe, wishing the weight of him would lift. but all she could feel was the pull, dragging her back to that place where everything was twisted, where she was stuck between what he wanted and what she could never be.
aubrey stumbled out of the club, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she leaned against the brick wall outside. the night was quiet now, the noise of the city muffled as if the world had slowed down just for her. she ran her hands through her hair, trying to shake the feeling that was creeping up on her, the feeling that she was drowning.
she didn't often use his name, didn't let herself think about him too much, but tonight it was all she could do to stop herself from screaming it into the night. she wanted him. she wanted him to see her, to feel what she felt, to understand how he'd hollowed her out and left her in the dark. but he never would.
and maybe that was the worst part.
she felt herself slipping, losing who she was, losing everything she thought she knew. she looked around at the city, the place that had always been her escape, and realized she didn't recognize it anymore. she didn't recognize herself anymore.
oh my god, take me back the way that i was.
but she knew it was impossible. she couldn't go back. not after him.
