Between Us

25 | Upset

Nova

I was asleep before I heard Grayson come into the room, being kind of loud. I barely opened my eyes to see him taking his shirt off before going into the bathroom. I wish my eyes were fully open because I barely got to see anything.

I rolled over and looked at the time, seeing it was almost 2 in the morning. I wonder what him and his friend were talking about that it took 8 hours.

I sat up, yawning then going to get something to drink. His shirt was in the floor, so I picked it up and put it on a hanger for him then laid back down just in time for the shower water to shut off.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." He said, coming out of the bathroom. "It's okay." I looked at him.

He looked so upset and it made me sad. "Are you okay?" I asked, sitting up again.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay." He turned off the bathroom light and then I could feel him get into the bed. I reached over to turn on my lamp.

"You look upset." "I'm a little upset." "You also smell like alcohol. I thought y'all were going to a burger place."

"We did but I left and went to the bar. I only had two drinks." I don't know why, but him saying he was drinking made me mad.

"I thought you didn't drink." "Very rarely. Can we just go to sleep? Please?" He laid down and faced away from me.

"Oh...okay." I turned the lamp out and laid on my back, looking up at the ceiling.

A few minutes passed and he rolled over, laying his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." His right hand rubbed my left arm. "For what?" I asked.

"I don't really know. I'm just stressed out and I don't have no one else around me other than you." He stopped moving his hand.

"It's okay. You can always talk about it." "I know, it's just hard to." "I know." I played with his hair.

A minute or two passed and I was about to fall asleep, but he asked a ridiculous question.

"Do you think I should go to therapy?" "What?" I was surprised.

"Therapy seems to really helped Xavier out in his life and he brought it up. We haven't gone through the same exact thing, but we have in a way and I-I don't know."

"Therapy is always a great option, it just depends if you're up for the task. I went to therapy for three years, I recently just stopped, but it helped me a decent bit. We all see different sides of you, so what I see, I don't think you do but I know your brothers see that other side."

"What do you mean?" He started moving his hand again. "Your brothers see you as a bitch, like you said, but I don't see you like that. You're a really nice guy and you're sweet. You've never done anything to me to make me not think you're great."

"Other than yesterday." "That wasn't your fault, you were just worried about me and I was being dramatic."

He took a deep breath.

"I haven't seen Xavier in 10 years and we he left it was on very very bad terms. It took me 8 years to finally get over him leaving. I was alone and depressed for 8 years straight and I could never make myself feel the same again. So for him to just come back and talk to me like I didn't do anything just made me mad. He should have held me accountable, not told me that it was a mistake, not forgive me for ruining his life."

"Was it a mistake?" "I-Yes, it was a mistake."

"Then why should he act like it wasn't? He realized you didn't mean to do whatever you did and he finally realized it even though it took several years and there's not anything wrong with that." I tried to remember things my old therapist would tell me.

"It doesn't feel right though. I'm not the same person I used to be and I never will be, but he acts like he knows me."

"He's not the same person either and he does know you. Y'all were best friends, just because it's been years doesn't mean he can't remember the details about you that you don't even know. He probably knows you like the back of his hand."

He let out a sigh. "He does. I know he does, but I don't feel right talking to him after everything."

"Have you apologized?" "Apologies don't mean anything. I can't tell him how much I'm sorry because he already knows."

"It's been how long again?" "10 years." "It's been 10 years since he's heard those words and whenever you said it, he probably just ignored it. It doesn't hurt to try one more time."

"Okay." He mumbled then wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer.

Hearing Grayson upset was not on my planner, but I'm glad we had a deep conversation about one his secrets.

It really must haunt him and I feel terrible. He wasted so many years just being depressed that he can't even process his feelings anymore.

I hate it for him, but he's doing better than I did when I was younger.

Once he started snoring, I wanted to laugh, but I didn't.

I closed my eyes and began to go back to sleep.

I woke up to my alarm, but Grayson wasn't in the bed. I got up and looked in the bathroom, but he wasn't there either.

I wonder when and why he left.

As I was getting ready for work, I couldn't stop thinking about what he was saying last night. I wonder what he did to make his own best friend leave for so long, to need therapy, and for him to not even forgive himself.

I mean, I guess I could understand if he killed someone, but Grayson couldn't do that. I don't think so at least, yeah he can get violent with his brothers at times, but I've never seen him be mean to someone else.

Maybe there's a whole other side to him that only Xavier knows.

It's been a pain in the ass walking here almost every morning, but I get through it. I've been taking a cab back home because I'm too tired to walk.

I'm nearly done with the second to last room. After today, I should be finished with it and then it'll probably take two days to do the very last one.

I haven't told Grayson this, but I'm leaving for sure on the 18th, a week from today. I know I told him closer to the end of the month, but my boss knows I'm almost done and already has a new job for me back home.

It was a miracle I can stay for another week, he was going to make me go back home in 4 days. I stood back from the wall and looked at what I needed to do.

"Hey, Lily? Come here please." I called out of the room. She came into the room and gasped, she hasn't seen it like this yet.

"Oh wow, Nova. It's beautiful." "Does anything look like it's missing?" I kept my eyes on the wall, scanning over every detail.

"Uh," she got a little closer and looked. "It looks great to me." She looked back at me. "Okay. I'm going to head out early today, if you notice anything just text me and I'll fix it tomorrow." I started gathering things.

"Okay, thank you." She smiled.

After I gathered all of my things, I headed out of the front doors and up the street. I decided to walk today even though I was just complaining about it.

I just feel like...yeah, I just feel. I guess I'm upset over Grayson being gone this morning and not telling me anything or even texting me.

Especially after he came in at 2 in the morning from the bar. I believe him when he said it was only 2 drinks, he seemed perfectly normal to me, but I don't know.

Maybe it's the jealousy coming out. Oh well though.

As I walked down the road, I paid attention to everything to take my mind off of him. There was some really pretty art on this side of the road I've never noticed before, it was nice.

I stopped at a crosswalk across from the hotel, looking both ways before I went. I'm so excited to take off my shoes and lay in bed.

I walked inside and went up the stairs and to my room. When I rounded the corner, I saw a sleeping Grayson in the bed.

I just looked at him, he looked peaceful.

But I still want to know where and why the hell he left.