Through The Ashes

36

The sun was higher in the sky now, casting a pale, washed-out light over everything as the group moved silently through their route. It was more undisturbed, as expected. Jorn led the way, her rifle slung over her shoulder, eyes watching the buildings and alleys for any sign of movement.

But her thoughts weren't entirely on the path ahead.

Girlfriend.

Mara had said it so casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world, teasing and playful, but it had stuck with Jorn. The word had wrapped itself around her thoughts and refused to let go.

They hadn't really talked about them, whatever they were. Jorn had always been careful, keeping her distance from others, never letting anyone get too close. But Mara had slipped past those defenses somehow, and now that word—girlfriend—felt like a question she didn't know how to answer.

She stole a glance at Mara, who was walking a few paces behind her, talking quietly with Ana. Her face was relaxed, but alert, her dark hair catching the faint breeze. She looked at ease, like she belonged there, with the group, with Jorn.

Is that what we are?

Jorn had never thought much about labels. Surviving the Rot didn't exactly leave room for that kind of thing. But now the word was sitting there between them, and Jorn wasn't sure if she should bring it up, or if Mara had just said it without thinking, as a joke.

Maybe Mara already knows what we are, Jorn thought. Maybe she's just waiting for me to catch up.

But that was the thing—Jorn wasn't sure if she was ready for it. They were in the middle of a war for survival. Still, she couldn't deny what she felt. Mara had become something more to her. She loved her.

Should I ask her when we get back? The thought hovered there, tender and doubtful. Part of her wanted to, but another part—the part that had always kept people at arm's length—warned her to wait. To be careful.

A slight noise up ahead snapped her back to the present. Jorn tensed, her hand instinctively going to her rifle as she scanned the street. She glanced back at Yosef, who nodded silently, signaling for them to stay low.

They ducked into the shadows of a nearby building, moving carefully around a pile of debris. Jorn's heart beat faster, not from fear, but from the lingering thoughts of Mara. The possibility of what they could be.

As they pressed on, the idea stayed with her, stuck at the back of her mind. Maybe when they got back to camp—when they had a moment to breathe—she'd bring it up. Ask Mara what she meant when she said girlfriend.

But for now, they had to focus on getting home safely. And maybe, just maybe, after all this, home didn't just mean the camp anymore. Maybe it meant her.

Maybe it meant Mara.

Girlfriend.

The truth was, she'd never had one before. Never had the chance, really. Jorn had spent so much of her life on the outside, always more comfortable in her own company than trying to fit into places that didn't feel right. And navigating her sexuality had been... complicated, to say the least.

Back when life was normal—or as close to normal as things had ever been—Jorn had known she was different, even when she didn't have the words for it. There had been a few moments growing up when she'd felt that spark of attraction toward other girls, but she was young and naive.

Her world was small until college, when she finally started to explore her attraction.

Then the Rot happened, and survival took priority over everything else. Relationships, attraction, even the possibility of love—all of it seemed like a luxury she couldn't afford. She'd watched the world crumble, watched people she cared about die. There was no space for love. No space for those parts of herself that had once whispered to her in quiet moments.