𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘕𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘦 (18+) (𝘨𝘹𝘨)

Ⅱ

Ⅱ: 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙪𝙥

I woke up in my bed, drenched in a cold sweat that clung uncomfortably to my skin, and not in the way I usually liked.

 The velvet covers felt suffocating as I pulled them off, their plush warmth doing nothing to alleviate the chill that hung around me. 

I trudged to my bathroom, my bare feet making soft thuds against the polished floor.

 Peering into the mirror, I splashed cool water on my face, watching the droplets cascade down, reflecting my face, that I couldn't help to stare at as I moved in the mirror, my jaw could cut fucking glass.

My breath was still heavy, and my mouth felt dry as I left the bathroom—a telling sign of another sleepless night.

 With a resigned sigh, I exited my room, padding down the dimly lit hallway and into the living room. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I found it was 3 a.m. I took a deep sigh.

I guess this meant I was officially an alcoholic since I couldn't sleep without it, a bottle to quiet the chaos in my head.

 It was becoming painfully clear—I was caught in a vicious cycle. I had spoken to Marco and Madeline, pledging to cut out drinking and sex for good, or at least in till this drama blows over.

 They'd laid down the rules, and I knew I must follow them, but it came at a steep price. 

This new vow seemed to make my life boring, and apparently, that also meant fewer moments of restful sleep.

I trudged into the kitchen, swinging open the double doors of the fridge, searching for a snack to curb the gnawing hunger that had been steadily building.

 The cold air rushed out, causing a shiver to run down my spine. 

I had fallen into a habit of sleeping in just a bra and underwear—my way of rebelling against the cold and burden of my past.

 Reflecting on my choices, my gaze drifted to the bottles of wine chilling in the freezer, a tantalizing reminder of the comfort they once offered.

 But tonight, I opted for a juice box, hoping for a distraction.

As I closed the fridge door with a soft thud, I tore open the straw with a reluctant rip and stuck it into the juice box, the sweet liquid slightly quenching my thirst as I walked back to my room.

 The familiar taste, flowed into my mouth as I made my way back. I opened my bedroom door and sank onto the bed, my phone beckoning for attention like an old friend.

I hadn't dared to check my socials since that night I hooked up with that one girl—her name I had forgotten when your big as a star as me, little stuff that doesn't matter falls at the back of your mind. 

I shook my head, a mix of shame and amusement flooding through me as I began scrolling. 

The images danced across the screen, a whirlwind of faces and risqué poses, each one pulling me further into the rabbit hole.

Was I upset that I had been publicly outed for the second time? Definitely. 

But did I look good doing it? I had to admit, yes, I did. 

Madeline had been saying that it was mediocre, but I couldn't shake the thought that she was probably just bluffing, or at least I hoped she was.

Because having a nice body and not being able to use it is tragic.

I continued to scroll, the phone lighting up my dim room, eventually I tossed my phone aside with a sigh, the screen dimming to darkness.

 I lay back on my bed, tossing the empty juice box onto the floor as I pulled the sheets over me, hoping for a sleep that felt somewhat decent tonight.