ʜʏᴜɴᴍɪɴsᴜɴɢ ᴏɴᴇ sʜᴏᴛs

sᴇᴠᴇɴ-ᴅᴇᴀᴅ

ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴏsᴇ ᴀ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛɪᴛʟᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴᴇ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅɪᴇᴅ.

ʜʏᴜɴsᴜɴɢ (ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ᴊɪsᴜɴɢ)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs:
ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ
sᴇʟғ ʜᴀʀᴍ
sᴇʟғ ʜᴀᴛʀᴇᴅ
ᴜʜʜ
ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ɪᴛ ɪ ɢᴜᴇss?

jisung was a junior university student. his parents died when he was a sophomore in highschool and he blames himself for their death ever since then. since that day, he lives alone, works some part-time jobs too. when he came to university, he lived in the dorms there, since his house is far from the uni. and his roommate was a guy called hyunjin. somehow, hyunjin managed to become close friends with jisung, but jisung didn't open up fully. hyunjin doesn't know about jisung's parents nor his depression. jisung was afraid that hyunjin might find out and hate him. 

he wraps his wrists with a new, clean bandages, throws the bloodied tissues in the trash and placed the shaving blade back in the drawer then takes a look at his face in the mirror. of how he hated his cheeks, they made him look fat, (Y'ALL DON'T TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY I LOVE HIS JEEKIES) even though he was as skinny as a stick. he takes a deep breath leaves the bathroom. he and hyunjin are supposed to go to their classes together. their classes aren't the same but it's the same timing so they go to campus together. as jisung emerges out of the bathroom, hyunjin looks back at him and smiles softly "let's go?" hyunjin said and jisung nodded, staring a bit too long at hyunjin. hyunjin caught that but didn't mention it. 

they walked to the campus together, chatting a little bit on the way. then each goes to his class as they separate ways. jisung couldn't concentrate in his lectures because he didn't get any sleep last night and he was dozing off in the back. to his luck, the professor didn't notice him. after classes, they meet up again and decide to go eat dinner together at some restaurant. while they were eating, jisung was caught staring at hyunjin again. hyunjin chuckled softly "why are you staring at me?" hyunjin asked and jisung's cheeks were dusted with a shade of pink for being called out. he felt kinda embarrassed and looked down. "you.. you just look beautiful today.." jisung said shyly. that made hyunjin smile softly "thank you, sungie.." he said, still smiling softly and jisung, who was glad that hyunjin didn't think of him as creepy or weird, but he was still cursing himself mentally. 

days later, on a weekend, they decide to hang out together. even though jisung was a bit hesitant but hyunjin convinced him, like always. by the end of the day, they were sitting down in a quiet and empty park, looking up at the beautiful night sky. hyunjin turned to look at jisung, admiring how the moon light reflected beautifully on jisung's skin. he slowly reached his hand to hold jisung's and spoke quietly "the moon is pretty, isn't it?" (iykyk) 

jisung only nods with a slight hum. hyunjin looks down and sighs "jisung.." he said quietly which made the other look at him with confusion. "you.. you've never been in a relationship, right?" hyunjin asks and jisung tenses up. "r-right.." he replied quietly.

"have you ever thought of getting into one?" 

"w-well.. not really.." 

"why?"

"I just.. I don't think I'm good for anyone.."

"I like you.."

"I.." jisung knew this was coming. "I'm s-sorry.." he felt the tears well up in his eyes as he stood up from the bench, rushing out of the park before hyunjin could stop him. he felt so guilty and sad for rejecting hyunjin, because he likes hyunjin too, but he just feel like he's not good for hyunjin. he's a bad person. he's-

"jisung please open the door, it's alright- I-I'm not gonna force myself on you.. we can still be friends.." said a sobbing hyunjin from outside the door of jisung's room while jisung was in there, sobbing into his blanket and trying hard not to reach to the pack of blades in his drawer. he felt so bad. hyunjin kept knocking on the door, trying to get jisung to open the door, but it was useless. 

2AM. hyunjin was still awake, in his room, unable to sleep. same goes to jisung, locked in his room, cutting his already scarred skin. he unlocks his door to go get tissues since the box in his room finished. hyunjin heard the door unlock once. didn't hear it lock back again. he leaves his room and walks slowly into the dark dorm, reaching jisung's slightly open door and peeks in, only to see jisung still cutting his wrists. he was shocked and concerned. 

hyunjin didn't want to but he accidantley opened the room and rushed to jisung and pulled him into a hug, gently taking the blade out of his hand. jisung was shocked and scared. his biggest fear came true. hyunjin found out. this only added more to his tears but he couldn't pull out of the hug. he was in already so much pain, mentally and physically and hyunjin's hug was just too warm to leave. comforting. jisung just sits there, crying so hard he started to choke on his own sobs. 

hyunjin was trying so hard to not cry himself as he held jisung in his arms, careful not to hurt his already injured wrists. jisung was crying so hard and it was breaking hyunjin's heart so much. after what felt like eternity, jisung's sobs calmed down, his body giving up on crying more. his head rests on hyunjin's chest as he sniffles softly every now and then. hyunjin was still sobbing quietly himself. as jisung slowly begins to drift off to sleep, hyunjin presses a soft kiss to the smaller's head before laying him down on the bed and gently treating his injuries, careful not to wake him up.

the next morning, jisung wakes up, finding himself cuddled up with hyunjin. he was a bit startled at first but he didn't try to pull away. he looked at his wrists, feeling the piercing pain in his hand. they were neatly wrapped and took care of and he assumed it was hyunjin, recalling what happened last night. he felt so embarrassed and exposed now that hyunjin witnessed him self-harm. 

he takes a deep breath before he tries to get up from bed, only to be pulled back by hyunjin. "it's weekend.. we can stay in bed longer.." hyunjin mumbled against jisung's neck as he spooned the smaller. jisung blushed slightly and closed his eyes, feeling warm and comfortable in hyunjin's embrace. "I'm sorry I rejected you yesterday.." jisung said quietly, still feeling guilty. "I'm just.. I'm not really the best person.. I might be the worst you ever had.. you might think that you want me but- I'm just"

"shh.. jisungie.. I love you so much.. and I will love you at your worst not matter how bad it was or you were.. I love you.." 

jisung couldn't help but tear up. he sniffled softly and placed his hands over hyunjin's hands which were around his waist. "I-I.. I love you too.. a-and.. I-I was scared you m-might hate me if you f-found out a-about what I do a-and"

"you talk a lot.." hyunjin mumbled, pressing his lips softly on jisung's neck, making him blush even harder. "I love you.. and your flaws.. but you need to promise to not harm yourself anymore, okay?"

"p-promise.."

weeks passed, they're officially dating and jisung finally feels safe enough with hyunjin to tell him everything. no more secrets. even when he feels bad ar upset, he just goes to hyunjin instead of hurting himself. slowly, jisung started feeling better, slowly getting out of his depression. not fully but almost.

🥟🐿️
𝟷𝟸𝟾𝟺 ᴡᴏʀᴅs
ᴀᴀᴀᴀᴀ ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴅᴋ ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ɪᴛ's ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ᴄʀɪɴɢʏ •////•
ᴋɪɴᴅᴀ ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴇᴅ ʙʏ @ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ʙʏ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋʙᴇᴀʀ :ᴘ