Liar (Rewritten) | Queen AU

Chapter 5 - About to Woah, Woah, Woah Explode

SEPTEMBER 16TH, 2019

OADBY, ENGLAND

ENTRY 2 | DEACON

Dear Diary,

Do you think being a spy looks good on uni applications? Or maybe you're not supposed to admit you were a spy. I think I could get away with saying I was a government intern. Maybe I'll get a letter of recommendation from Miami. He'll double as my algebra teacher and government official.

I'd have to wait till he's not mad at me anymore. Apparently investigating the leading suspect for your top enemy should be done undercover and not with your legal name. Who would've guessed! I guess I did make a pretty stupid move, but where else can you get an opportunity as golden as that? I mean, they came right to our doorstep!

Miami will get over it. I'm doing good work.

J Deacon

John's diary isn't exactly a diary anymore. Between his first and second entries, pages filled with one-off notes, manic flowcharts, and incomprehensible scribbles occupy plenty of space. He's always been hectic when it comes to life and work. He hates planners, finding them to be a waste of time, and often picks up projects, only to leave them to rot after just a few days.

Because of this, John gave up on his big collegiate dreams at the start of Year 12. He couldn't seem to maintain an earnest extracurricular, and he was too naive to realize that grades weren't enough to get him into top schools until it was too late. His sarcastic pessimism over excruciatingly low acceptance rates and ridiculously high expectations cheers him up, yet deep down, pinching his heart, he knows he needs to get out of Oadby and make something of himself.

Therefore, this espionage gig has been an unusual adjustment for him. Even though he knows his work couldn't possibly be found out by anyone, he likes to imagine the accolades and, yes, college acceptances in a world where it could be. He jokes with Roger that this is Harvard material. Roger tells him to touch grass, and John laughs, for he's finally coming to terms with the fact that he's defined by much more than a report card. It's his first real taste at how much bigger the world is, and how he has been so disillusioned by his self-contained life of school, home, and Roger.

Sure, he's still a real mess; he's an imploding star among other dying stars, gearing up for the grandest implosion of all time, decaying in spectacular seconds that feel like weeks, but he's beginning to realize that combustion is only reinvention. He shocks himself at his renewed excitement for the future.

For once, he feels important. He figures if he can save Roger's life, that'll save plenty of others as well. If the rest of the world is shattering around him, John wants to be there to glue the pieces back together.

He trudges on.

"You look stupid."

John cranes his neck to find Julie leaning against his doorframe, arms crossed, fully judging him. He fastens the final button on his black shirt before turning to face her. As he grabs a tie off the edge of his cabinet, Julie shakes her head. John puts it down.

"What about it looks stupid?"

"The tuck-in. You look forty."

"Tell me, Julie," John sighs as he admires himself in the mirror just to the left of her, "is it forty, or is it stupid?"

"Both." She points at him, almost accusatory. "Your hair's too long for you to be wearing an uptight button down like that. Especially with that awful belt. You'll embarrass yourself."