The lemon man

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Warning: Contains smut
Be prepared be cause this is straight dirt i got slightly carried away lmao I'm blaming it on Robert he makes me absolutely feral

Word count: 3948

Word count: 3948

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Robert

He had been lounging about listening to the rain outside his window. While absently staring at the pages of the Lord of the Rings, Robert started to think about the lady he just caught out with another man.

Maybe I'm just not meant for love. Maybe it's good June left, and that other girl ran out on me. Maybe I wanted to see that girl snogging that rando. Well he could have that woman, she was a lousy kisser anyway. She wasn't like June whose soft lips were such a good match for mine.

It was 1:05. The yellow receiver on the wall slightly trembled as a loud ring broke the serene silence. Picking up the receiver he asked.

"Hello?"

"Yes, hello. Um, I don't know if you will remember but this is June Wood. I just got back from America and I was wondering if you would like to meet again."

She said this all quite quickly. Robert had stopped breathing when he heard her voice. The blood drained from his face.
He couldn't believe it. The woman he had been pining for had suddenly rang him. Feeling slightly nauseated he coolly replied,

"Ahh yes my beautiful Juney bee. I've missed your voice."

"I've mi-missed you too."

She had started stammering. It was absolutely thrilling. He wished she could feel what she was doing to him.

"Do you know how many times I've visited our place? Hoping to see my beautiful tree nymph sitting at the base of that oak? How I've longed to walk through the fields holding your soft hands again?
Y'know even though we only went there twice , it's felt like you were mine for an eternity. Just us walking throughout the beautiful forested wood. Together. Forever."

June hadn't responded for a full five seconds so Robert continued on carefully. Trying not to scare her off.

"How bout I swing by and get you, and we can catch up a bit at my house?"

June seemed to be choking on her words.

"Oh yes. Of course. Erm, My friend is at work so she won't miss me. So do you think... Can you get me now?"

Robert smiled when she gave him the address. It was only 10 minutes away.

"Yes, of course my love. Okay good bye darlin."

"Good bye."

As soon as she hung up Robert jumped up from the plump sofa. Looking in the gold framed mirror he fluffed his perfect curls and nearly set them on fire reaching to snatch up his keys. Blowing the candles out Robert burst through the door, his intestines twisting with excitement.

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