Fading Echoes

Treinta y siete

Irene

I had been feeling off for weeks now, my body sending me signals I didn't want to recognize. At first, I brushed it off as stress or exhaustion—symptoms that could easily be blamed on everything else happening around me. But deep down, I knew something wasn't right. The nausea in the mornings, the fatigue that lingered all day, the sudden food aversions—it was all too familiar, too real.

Sitting in my condo, I stared down at the small plastic test in my hand. My heart raced as I waited for the result, every second stretching out painfully. I already knew, but I needed the confirmation. I needed something tangible to force me to face the truth I had been avoiding.

When the two pink lines appeared, clear as day, I felt my breath catch in my throat.

I'm pregnant.

My mind raced, a flurry of emotions crashing over me all at once—shock, fear, confusion. I tried to keep myself calm, but the weight of the moment was overwhelming. How could this happen now? How could I have let this happen?

I slumped onto the couch, staring at the test in my hand, the reality of it settling in. I was going to have a baby. And yet, the first thing that came to mind wasn't excitement or joy—it was Greggy.

Greggy.

Alam kong kailangan kong sabihin sa kaniya. Alam kong kailangan niyang malaman. Lalo na't pareho naming pananagutan 'to. But as I reached for my phone, a wave of hesitation stopped me cold.

I distanced myself to Greggy since that happened. At halos isang buwan na rin pala akong naka-leave. No one knows where am I. But I always make sure na hindi nag-aalala ang pamilya ko sa akin, lalo na sila mommy at daddy. 

At alam kong hindi rin ito ang tamang panahon para guluhin ko kung anong kaligayahan ang meron si Greggy. I know that he and Cath had been getting along so well recently. I had seen the shift between them—the comfortable conversations, the laughter. There was an ease between them that hadn't been there before. They were growing closer, and I couldn't ignore it any longer.

How could I drop this on him now? What would he say? What would he feel?

My stomach churned, not from the pregnancy but from the uncertainty of it all. Would this change everything between us? Would he feel trapped, cornered? Or worse, would he choose Cath over me now that this unexpected news was on the table?

I set the test down on the coffee table, burying my face in my hands. I was terrified—not just of the pregnancy, but of what this meant for me and Greggy. Our relationship had been complicated lately, and throwing this into the mix felt like adding gasoline to a fire that was already smoldering.

What if he didn't want this?

I wasn't sure I was ready for it either, but now, it wasn't just about me. I had to think about the life growing inside me, and I couldn't keep this secret for long. But the thought of calling Greggy and telling him—of hearing his reaction—was enough to paralyze me.

I stared at my phone, debating whether to dial his number. So many times, I had imagined this moment, but never like this. Never with so much uncertainty hanging in the air. Greggy and I had always been close, but lately, he had been more distant, more involved with Cath. I couldn't shake the feeling that telling him now would only make things worse.

But I couldn't hide this forever. Sooner or later, I would have to face him, to face everything. For now, though, I just needed a moment to breathe—to figure out what I wanted, before I could think about what Greggy might feel.

I dropped the phone back onto the couch and leaned back, staring at the ceiling. The world felt so much heavier now, and I didn't know how to carry it alone.