the alchemy

5

please remember to vote and comment my lovessss xooxoxoxo

When Taylor woke up the sun had set a long time ago. The house laid silence and all lights were out except for one. She got up from her mattress she had thought was too hart when she and Joe had gotten it , her gaze meeting itself in the mirror next to her bedroom door. The light of the street lantern from outside lit the room up enough for her to see her faze. She had pillow marks smudged on her cheek and face , her silky PJ set out of a spaghetti strapped top with lace and her shots , also rimmed by black lace barely covering her bum.

She ran her hands through her fluffy curls desperately trying to smooth them down. She was suddenly all too aware of the possibility that Travis might still be in her house, maybe even in the room next to her. She owed him so much. He had taken care of her little boy, of her in more than one way.

She gave up and decided it wouldn't get any better than this. So she quietly opened her bedrooms door slipping out of it as silently as she could. Her bedroom was soundproofed but the hallways weren't and she didn't want to wake up Ben. He was going through enough already.

She saw a bluish light coming from the living room and followed it quietly , pulled towards it like a moth to the flame. The sight in front of her made her heart jump. Travis laid on the couch in his shirt and pants still, covered in her knitted blanket that only covered half of him , his head propped up on the armrest on the couch while the tv's bluish light lit up his face. His eyes were closed and he just looked so peaceful she couldn't help but smile.

He hat muted the tv where some football was playing with subtitles. Joe would never have muted anything. Not that he would have watched Football or anything interesting, most of the time it was some documentary or the one movie he had ever played in. his acting career had pretty much failed though he liked to blame it on Taylor and Ben saying he "retired" for them.

Taylor crouched down next to Travis carefully reaching out and running her hand over his cheek. The stubble of his beard brushed past her fingertips eliciting the memory of it teasing her inner thighs. She bit her lip and grazed over his soft skin smiling. He was so handsome and attentive. She knew he would treat her right, the little bit that held her back was just trying to warn her.

She had already rushed into a relationship once before. And where had it left her? No ring, no man, single mom and confused as fuck. She had given away her best years for a scum back that cheated on her and she had still indulged in his garbage behavior, trying to keep her family together. But that was behind her now. She knew she needed to find herself but also knew Travis would support her during it.

She knew she had fallen for him s soon as she saw the way he cared for her son. She had taken a long time to do so but when it happened she had fallen hard and fast. Her son needed a role model like Travis, not like Joe. Travis was the one that had canceled their dinner and taken care of a child that wasn't even his jus so she could rest.

on one hand it was all she had ever wanted. The man she was falling for, her son and the possibility of a happy family. On the other hand she couldn't do this to Travis. It wasn't his job, his responsibility. She would just hold him back, burden him. He was still young he could find a nice girl, someone not as messed up as her.

He could have his own family with her, have a bunch of adorable little kids and just be happy. Taylor hadn't even noticed she had started crying until she felt Travis warm hand yup her face, his thumb gently brushing off her tears.

"hey pretty girl what's wrong?" his voice coaxed, grumbled by his sleep. It was damn attractive but Taylor felt her throat tighten, unable to answer while more tears slipped over her cheeks. Through the veil of her tears she could make out him shifting before she was pulled into his lap , sniffles shaking her body, as she curled up against him, her head buried in his shoulder while he held her closely.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, my voice strained , chocked up . Travis frowned while stroking her hair , not sure wat she was referring to. Before he could ask she continued sniffling over and over.

"I'm sorry I'm so fucked up, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you when you went to Detroit, I'm sorry I got with Joe and waisted all these years, I'm sorry I'm ruined and broken and a disaster, I'm sorry you like me like that, because you deserve so much more and better than me. I'm sorry I still have feelings for Joe even tho I don't want to, I'm sorry I want to be with you because you should be with someone else, I'm sorry everything is so complicated, I'm sorry I'm not ready yet. B-But I'm not sorry that I'm falling for you Travis, you and Ben are the two best things that have ever happened to me. And even though it's all a mess and I don't deserve either of you , I'm so thankful to have you in my life" she whispered, tears slipping onto his shirt.

Travis took a deep breath before cupping Taylors face. He pulled it up to face him, whipping away her tears , kissing them away until she giggled and blushed. Then he started to talk all while looking into her aquamarine eyes.

"Taylor Alison Swift, I have been in love with you ever since I first laid eyes on you. I saw you in the library and you read so completely focused like you were about to dive into the book. I just thought 'that's the most beautiful human I have ever laid eyes on' and when I got to know you , I just knew I was right.

When I went to Detroit I was in love with you. I dreamed of you every night , every day too , even during practice much to my coaches dismay, they teased me and called me 'lavender haze'. I still loved you when I learned about Joe and you dating. I kept thinking , what does an amazing woman like this see in that little earth worm"

that made her giggle.

"but then I thought about it and concluded no one would ever be enough for you, enough to deserve you but I figured Joe made you happy so I accepted it. I loved you when you had Ben, you glowed so much and looked so radiant I just wished he had been mine. Even if it was just a secret between us two but he isn't and that doesn't change my love for him nor you any less.

I loved you when I moved back here and saw you and joe kissing and hugging and taking care of your son together. I loved you the night he didn't show up, which by now I think was long before last week. I loved you when he didn't show up to play with his amazing son, I loved you when you let me take care of you and I love you right now.

You are the most amazing, beautiful and talented woman I know. You are an amazing mother, partner and friend and I swear to god you and Ben have me wrapped around your pinkie. You deserve all you want, a ring, more babies, a nicer house

I think you should be worshipped by the whole fucking world because fuck no one can compare to you. And yes you have been put through a lot by that micropenised egomaniac that has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon and is a shitty person boyfriend and father, but none of it is your fault and you have done nothing to deserve this.

You could ask me for anything and I would give it to you. And I know I love intensely, sometimes too much so. I know you and Joe just broke up and feelings don't just disappear. I know that you are still figuring out the custody arrangements with the man child and that you will need to find your stance in the world. I know it will take a long time to figure all of this out but Taylor, I love you.

And I want to figure it out with you. I let you slip through my fingers once before and I wont let that happen ever again. I will be by your side whether you need to sleep or some hot sex, I'm with you to help you defend yourself from Joe , even tho I know you can handle yourself and I'm here to support you do so.

I know that asshole has added insecurities to your life over the past years , which I honestly want to kill him for, but I'm here to hear every one of them and proof Joe wrong. I'm here to stay Taylor.

Wherever you go , I will go and wherever you want to go I will follow. I'm here for you and Ben. And I love you. You have nothing to apologize for because if I still had the choice I would always choose to love you"