Lucy wrapped an arm around Tamara's shoulders. "You're never alone, Tamara. I'm always here, and no one can get in," she reassured. "Why don't we try to focus on something else, something to distract you?"
Tamara barely nodded, but the tension in her body didn't ease. As the day wore on, she found herself checking the locks over and over again. Even though Lucy had already secured everything, Tamara's fear kept creeping back, whispering that it wasn't enough. She had to be sure—really sure.
Later, when Lucy went to take a shower, Tamara's anxiety spiked. She rushed to the front door and twisted the lock back and forth multiple times, pressing her ear to the wood as if listening for any sound outside. She checked the windows next, testing each latch to make sure it hadn't come loose. Her pulse raced the entire time, and she felt a tight knot forming in her stomach.
I just have to make sure, she thought, moving from room to room. I can't take any chances.
When Lucy came back, she found Tamara still pacing around the house, testing each lock for the third time. "Tamara... what are you doing?" she asked, her tone a mixture of concern and sadness.
Tamara froze, her cheeks flushing as she realized how she must look—panicked and desperate. "I... I just needed to check," she stammered. "I didn't hear you in the shower, and I... I thought maybe..."
Lucy walked over and gently took Tamara's hands, stopping her from reaching for the door again. "You don't have to do this," she said softly. "I know it feels like you're not safe, but this won't make the fear go away. It just makes it stronger."
Tamara swallowed hard, feeling tears burn in her eyes. "I don't know what else to do Luucy," she whispered "I'm scared all the time I can't even think straight." Lucy squeezed Tamara's hands trying to ground her in the moment "I know you're scared." she said softly but we can work on this together. We'll find ways to help you feel safer and it might take time but you 're not alone."
Tamara calmed down a little but, but the tension in her shoulders remained. She nodded, though thee reassurance only sank in so far. Even when Lucy was right next to her and she knew she was safe, the feeling of uneasiness still lingered. Over the next few days, the anxiety came in waves. Wheneverucy left the room Tamara would find herself checking the locks again, almost like she was on autopilot. it wasn't that she thought that lucy had forgotten to lock the doors, it was that her fear was so intense and real, like a physical presence breathing down her neck. She started avoiding certain parts of the house, like the Sliding glass door that led to the balcony and all of the windows just being by them made her skin crawl with fear.
Tamara found herself in one corner of the apartment where she could see all of the exits and all of the places where someone could get in. Lucy watched tamara everyday and got more and more worried by the second. She tried to help tamara wit things that she used to like to do like watching movies together or baking but Tamara could barely focus she would often find herself double triple checking that doors are locked.
In the afternoon, as Tamara was once again pacing near the doors and windows checking the locks she stopped in her tracks. The faint sound of people arguing outside startled her and she froze, her heart was hammering in her chest. Her mind jumped to the worst possible conclusion. What if it is him? what if he is watching?
Tamara's legs started to feel weak, and a sudden wave of dizziness washed over her. She stumbled back knocking over a small table beside the window. The noise made her flinch, and she backed into the corner, sinking to the floor and hugging her knees tightly.
Lucy came rushing into the room after hearing the loud noise Tamar, are you ok? what happened?" she asked, kneeling beside her.
Tamara's voice was barely a whisper. "I heard something... I thought... I don't know," she says struggling to catch her breath " I just... I couldn't" Lucy saw that she was panincing and she put a hand on her shoulder "it's ok." she said soothingly. "There's no one outside, I promise I'll even check for you." She quickly went to the window and pulled back the curtain, scanning the street "See? nothing but someone arguing and that happens alot in LA."
But Tamara didn't feel relieved . Her pulse continued to race, and heer hands trembled as she hugged herself tighter. "I don't know how to make it stop Every sound... it just makes me think he's coming back."
Lucy's expression softened with compassion. "you should really talk to someone about this it could help you and it doesn't have to be a therapist you could talk to anyone that you trust" She suggested " And you won't have to go through this alone" Tamara looked at lucy her hands were shaking "i'll think about it" she says her voice cracking " OK we could make a list tomorrow but or now it is time for dinner" lucy says not wanting to Push tamara .
Part 19 will be out pretty soon i think I am going to make this ike a 3 book series
