Camren?

Ch 1

Lauren's Pov:

I've always liked guys, grew up straighter than a fucking ruler. You literally USED my straightness to draw lines because I was that fucking Into boys. But I've been catching myself lately.. I don't mean like I'm lesbian, trust me I still like guys. But I didn't even notice it until the fans pointed it out.  Now I catch myself staring at her a little longer and laughing a little too hard at her unfunny jokes.  I mean she's just so flirty. I bet she does it on purpose, she likes to see my reactions. But she's not gonna get anywhere with it, I love her death she's adorable, and she's my bestfriend! But I'm sorry to tell you all, I'm straight :)

Let me tell you how this whole mess started. I like boys. I mean Ive had my fair share of boyfriends. Believe me I like boys a lot. It was natural, I mean even most bisexual or lesbian girls I know can't imagine themselves growing old with a girl. honestly, it just seems like a teenage rebel thing.. Liking girls. It seems childish to me, I don't like girls. Boys are attractive as hell, all muscley and tall, but girls. Girls are pretty I'm not gonna lie. Girls are the closest we get to angels I swear. They're just beautiful majestic creatures. I'm not really referring to myself but you know what I mean.it's they have smoother skin, softer lips, their more sensitive, they smell prettier.....

I remember the first day I met her. Not just any girl, the one and only my bestfriend Camila Cabello.

It was on X Factor I remember watching her perform. just thinking to myself hm, she's pretty, she looks like someone I know, and damn she can sing. Off of stage Camila was a sweetheart and full of life.

By that, I mean she made it very easy to be her friend. She gave you this warm welcoming, and the way she talked to you she made you feel special, like you couldn't get enough of her. The thing that bothered me was, she left you mesmerized with a warm feeling in your tummy while she spoke to you. And you were just totally blindsided by everything about her.  But then you look back at her to see what the Angels up too and you realize she's doing the exact same thing to another person. Making them feel warm inside and loved. And it's not a bad thing, but you're drawn back to reality. You don't get any special treatment, why would you?  It's a good thing about her  personality, having the ability to make everyone feel special and wanted. But was it selfish that I just wanted her to do that to me?

Well during that X Factor show, me and camila grew close. We'd usually sit next to each other and talk and laugh. That's not when I really started noticing her though, and I don't mean like getting feelings. Like I said I like boys. But I mean like noticing really beautiful- eh I mean very unique habits and little flaws in her personality that I find fascinating. It's just really rare when you see beneath someone's beautiful.

You know like there's a lot of pretty places in the world but they're not much more than a pretty place. Here's what I mean. They have gorgeous views up in the mountains and they have beaches and everything. But the roads are curvy, there's no sidewalk, they have the same food every day, there's no bowling alleys. And when it comes down to doing something fun, or something exciting it's not there. All that's there is the place  that's meant only for pretty pictures on a wall. That's what I mean when I say Camila was much more than a pretty face. She had bowling alleys, and roller coasters, and different restaurants. It's a strange analogy I know, but you get what I'm saying.

I'll tell you when I really first noticed her. I would sit in the audience when she was performing on the show, I usually did because I liked the front view, it made me feel like a queen.  I sat up right in the center. I remember when she first started out, the only thing she was nervous about was where to look. Can you imagine that? Camila Cabello scared of people. She's the most confident person I know. Anyways, She didn't know how to let her eyes scan all the people. And I remember after we had established our friendship watching her sing in the arena. She had her eyes closed for most of the beginning, like I said she doesn't know where to look. But soon she opened her eyes, and the second she did she got super nervous, everyone could tell. She looked at the judges a little desperately then her eyes shot all around the stadium until her eyes met mine. She saw me in the stand and smiled warmly, like I kid you not I felt a wave of heat wash over me when she smiled. No it's not butterflies it's simply comfort. Guys are great.  Anyways I smiled back at her, because she didn't look nervous anymore, she finally felt comfortable on the stage. But she didn't look away, she kept singing and it was like the room was black and there was a hot burning spot light on me. My palms were sweaty and I couldn't look away. And she was singing directly to me. That's when I got the butterflies, I mean not like. Like a, it's like the butterflies you get with friends you know. The friendly ones. Yes everyone gets friend butterflies! When you love someone so much it just hurts your heart. 

And I remember when she was done what the judges were saying the same thing they always said. "You're gorgeous absolutely beautiful, and your looks match your voice. The voice of a truly talented singer. You, you can go places I believe you can! however.."

There was always that "however". Once the judges were finished showering you with compliments the room always got a little darker they got a little more serious and you knew they were ready to tell you the flaw in your performance.

That's what I hated about the show, always knowing that no matter how hard you try there's always going to be something they don't like. And believe me I'm all for improvement, It's just not really something to look forward to after you're finished singing your heart out. I almost get pissed off when they say that.

Anyways, let me continue what the judges where saying,

"however," and you saw camz little pretty smile drop and it made me sad, like someone just ripped my heart out of my body. "You have this great voice, but you don't know where to look. I mean you're so full of energy and then all of the sudden you get up on stage sand the first minute of the song your eyes weren't even open! What's up with that? And THEN when you finally opened them you scanned the room widely and desperately like we were holding you captive and forcing you to sing or something!  BUT you did relax, by the halfway mark of the song. Your eyes found something to look at and I think you're going places, good job kid" camila smiled and glanced up at me shooting me a wink. My heart fluttered. then she thanked them. I like her smiles and her singing. I wanted her to sing to me again. I wanted her to grab me sit me down on a chair and give me a private concert while sitting in my lap. Is that weird?? Does that make me sound gay, I mean Her voice is so encapturing already but the second she's singing to you so many emotions run through your body. You don't know whether to cry or to laugh and smile.

That's when I noticed her. And I even remember going back to that very exact spot every time she sang. And without a doubt she'd look right at me and it just made me feel so special. But I also remember the time I finally asked her about it. The conversation had run dry, and in order to keep it going I had asked her, kind of as a joke of course I didn't want her to think I was weird "why do you always stare at me when you're singing, am I that hot?" I jokingly whipped my hair back and forth and she laughed, "I don't know what else to look at I'm sorry!!!" She launched in her defense. "So you look right at me the whole time??" I laughed. "Well you look back!" She countered and I giggled. "I'm supposed to hon I'm the audience" I told her, while shooting her a cheesy wink. she smiled at that and grew quite for a minute, "you just give me this really comforting feeling I don't know how to explain it.." She said softly before smiling. Those words had me feeling all different kind of emotions and, well I mean, she was kind of blushing too. Oh my I need a boy.. Her voice interrupted my plan of finding a Italian boy and moving to Europe when she said "I'll work on it though, I mean I NEED to if I want to get anywhere with my singing career". I nodded, I knew she was right and there was no further words to be said.  But I mean I didn't really want to her to actually stop, you know, Singing to me.

The thing that drove me insane is that she did work on it. Slowly she got more confident, she stopped looking at me as much and started looking at everyone in the audience. It really shot a hole in my heart I remember thinking in my head "come on camz, look at me." Over and over. Eventually she couldn't look at me at all, even if she wanted too. Why? Because we were performing onstage next to each other in a band formed called fifth harmony.

A hand waved me back into reality "hey buddy you sleepy??" I groaned as I opened my eyes and stared at ally.  I was on a pool chair by the pool of course and was enjoying having the sun as a blanket. "We're gonna eat, come on everyone's waiting on you" I sighed and stood up "can't we just like order something to get delivered" i whined. "Get off your lazy ass Lauren!!" Dinah yelled at me. Damn, that girl is the one I'm scared of when she's hungry I got up and followed them to our tour bus.

We were on our reflection tour at the moment and the girls had wanted to go swimming, but just like the little bugs they are they like to change what they're doing every half hour. I climbed on the bus and awaited this majestic drive to get food.

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