Crush - H. Josuke

-- The Sun

This morning it was much more dry, thankfully. The sun was rising, the muted yellow shade covering the sky, stratus clouds filling empty space across the horizon. Awake early as ever, Josuke was in his bathroom, combing his hair over his eyes and then up in his regular do-up.

Today he decided to try something new. He went through his mom's makeup bag, grabbing a thin black stick and a dark powder. He looked to himself in the mirror, leaning forward and pulling the skin at the bottom of his eye.

"Okay.. Like Robert Smith. Or David Bowie.. Or Prince. Or.. One of those guys. Easy." He mumbled, slowly lining his waterline with the eyeliner, and then smoking it out with the powder, rubbing his eyes. He liked the look, but his mother could never find out. He put his mother's makeup back in her bag, finding a red lipstick and clear, jelly-like substance inside of a small plastic pot.

He applied a light layer of lipstick only on the inside of his lips, blending it out with the Vaseline in the pot. He wondered how his friends would see it, if they would like it. He didn't really care, he was more worried about what random people would say in the hallways, since it wasn't very normal for men to put any effort in their looks. He was made fun of enough for his hair. He stared at himself, poking and prodding at his skin and contemplating whether it was worth it. He always took good care of his appearance, borrowing his mother's creams and soaps to keep acne and poor skin texture away. He even plucked his eyebrows, he wanted to look his best all of the time.

Ever since he was a kid, he would mess around with his mom's more "girly," things. Painting his nails messily as a toddler, the majority of the polish landing on the kitchen floor, attempting to copy RuPaul's look when his mother was at work, complimenting old lady's clothing at the grocery store. He was a very artistic person, his favorite canvas being his own body. It was hard to express himself in his world, where it was almost unsafe for him to show up to school or walk around with his preferred look. It was also impossible to find a girl when he looked more beautiful than they did.

He shrugged to himself in the mirror, cleaning up his bathroom and walking down to his kitchen, chopping up some fruit for his lunch, and for breakfast he had a simple meal, a wrap with avocado, lettuce, and ham. Not forgetting about Y/N's gift, he took her drink and cookie out, microwaving the cookie and wrapping it in a paper towel to keep its warmth. He grabbed his bag, leaving his home and walking over to hers.

On his walk, he wondered how she would react to his minor change of appearance for the day. He felt that she would like it, she was such a warm and kind woman, someone that made him feel like he was getting a hug every time he was acknowledged by her. He wondered if she had changed anything either, or if she wished to but was too afraid of what people would think. Then he remembered it wasn't that deep, and how could someone so loved feel afraid to express themselves?

Knocking on her door, he waited for it to open. He rubbed his eyes, forgetting about the eyeliner. Sighing as he saw the black streak on his hand, he wiped it off and tried to fix his face using one of her house's windows as a mirror. As the door opened, he extended his hands, the right one cold from the drink, the left one warm from the cookie.

"Good morning!" He said, shockingly cheerful, something he didn't expect from himself. "I got you a cookie, I don't know what you like to drink, I hope this is okay." He said, a bit more bashful, like the Josuke Y/N knew.

"Good morning, Josuke." She said with a soft smile, one that made his heart turn into a melting mess. "The drink is fine, thank you very much." She continued, taking the food and drink from his hands, gasping as she felt his freezing knuckles, taking his hand into hers.

"You're so cold!" She said with a small pout, holding onto his hand tight, trying to warm him up. She held the drink and cookie in one of her hands, walking with his hand in hers as she left her doorway and shut her door.

His cheeks were flushed, though he held her hand back just as tight. "Yeah, the can's pretty cold." He said softly, leaning into her, careful to stay subtle.

"Should we walk to class together today? My first period is business, you could meet me there and we can walk to history." She said as she swung their hands back and forth, letting go once he was warm again.

"Sure, what's the room number?" He asked back, sad that she let go, though she could never know.

"Ummm... 1230. It's the hallway next to the gym, the fourth door on the right." She said back, looking to his face. "Are you wearing makeup?" She asked with a curious smile, looking a bit closer.

"Oh, yeah.. Does it look weird?" He asked shyly, his hands going up to wipe off the makeup.

"No! I think it's really cool! It's like.. Robert Smith!" She piped up, grabbing one of his wrists and pulling it away from his face.

"Oh, good. I hoped so." He said quietly, not knowing what else to add.

The walk to school was a nice and calm way to start off the morning. It was always a nice day when he got to look at her. She was so sweet and free of judgement. He wondered how he would ever come to terms with only being her friend when she was his dream girl. He sighed dreamily, slowly holding onto her hand once more, his pinky holding hers.

"So I don't stumble into you anymore." He mumbled out his excuse, looking to his shoes.

"So you don't stumble into me anymore." She echoed, letting him hold onto her finger with a grin, eating the cookie he got for her.

The two stayed quiet, aside from Josuke's occasional bumps, which made them both smile and give a light chuckle. With each gaze, he memorized how her hair moved with her steps, how her clothes wrinkled and shifted with her movements, and how her finger would squeeze around his every few minutes, something he was sure she didn't notice. Three months of his silent pining and begging finally came to an end, he finally had her, even if he was wrapped around her finger.

"I see the sun in your eyes." He mumbled, though he wasn't looking at her.

"Really? Like a reflection?" She asked back, looking to him, where she was greeted with his strong, clenched jaw.

"Sure. Yeah, like a reflection." He said airily, tilting his head down to look at her, a sweet, love-struck smile on his face.

It was nothing like a reflection. It was the brightness. It was how her beautiful eyes lit up a room. Not even a room. They were outside, and she still made it brighter. She was his sun. He used to feel like the moon, always behind her. He now felt as if he were Mercury.

She made him feel warm.