Bucky Barnes X Y/N Stark (Part-2)

Chapter 2

She is the Sun of my universe, acentric to my every action, every thought. Y/N is more than anything I could ask for. My memories of her before our marriage is still fresh, I still remember how effortlessly she made me fall in love with her, with her kindness, with all her love for me. It would be very hard navigating my life without her now, not that will happen ever because I would never let anything happen to her nor do anything which would distance me from her.

I also remember Steve's face when I handed my resignation letter as an avenger, he was sad that we won't be going on missions alongside now, won't be able to talk about tactics and blueprints for our next mission but as soon as I married y/n, I knew all I wanted was too put this life behind me and start afresh as a normal married person.

Steve and I talk to each other on a daily basis, sharing bits of each other's life and after Steve learned how to operate his phone on a video call, he videocalls me every time he can. I established my security agency from the ground- Barnes Security and I am so proud of myself that I am using my methods and ways to help and protect people now rather than hurting them.

I came to terms with the fact that Winter Soldier would always be a part of me, I couldn't wash that part of my life no matter how much I have tried to disown the winter soldier he still resides inside me hidden somewhere very deep, but it would never surface back.

 I wish I was as truthful as y/n in keeping the promise of telling each other everything but sometimes when I look in the mirror deep in my reflection, I see him screaming to re-surface, the screams of people I have killed is deafening enough to make me crumble down to the floor.

If I tell y/n, she will make it her only aim to help me, but I can't burden her with those thoughts of mine, the fact that I have murdered her parents is scary as enough to make me guilty whenever I see their photo placed on the mantel. I wonder how she sleeps in our bed with me without a worry that I could harm her, I have never seen her looking at me suspiciously, overlooking my moves. She is just normal around me, like I am a normal person. I recite this thought aloud in my mind hundred times a day to make my soul believe it that the love I hold for her is enough to hold the winter soldier back for ever.

The only void I feel in my heart these days is off to hold a mini version of either of us in my arms and smother her with love and I know we are trying and getting obstacles but when the timing would be perfect it would happen, and I have full faith in it.

Pancakes are her favorite thing in the world and been the one able to make them for her feels that I am above every man, I sometimes think of an alternate universe where she is living this life with someone else, and some other man is making her morning pancakes, and the thought alone is intolerable.

As soon as she enters the kitchen, the fragrance of her vanilla body lotion hits my nostrils, and I melt a little more in her love. "Coffee is on the counter and the pancakes are just about ready, sweetheart" I say while she comes around and hugs me from behind and plants a kiss on my head,

" You are the best".

After clearing out the dishes of our breakfast, we discuss our day and our schedules, " By the way sweetie we have to get the groceries for the month today and I think I would be quite busy today to make a trip to the grocery store"

"Just give me the list, I'll bring everything on my way home honey" I answer while checking some e-mails related to work.

The importance of any minute or moment is defined in the future because when it happens it's just daily life happening around you, but when you look back, you wish to hold on to that moment a little longer.

Because life is never fair to anyone of us.