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" Did you start to smoke now ? "
Mom.
Her eyes were set on me as she asked me the question, but her gaze doesn't hold any curious or judgement. More like she knew the answer to her question beforehand regardless,still chose to ask.
Starting to make a conversation where two of us know where will it end up.
" You know how much I detest smoking, and the people who do it. "
A silence welcoming inbetween us while my eyes pleaded not to ask anything that'll make me end up like that night. I shrugged at the thought of her upcoming questions and chose to leave before it will aim on me.
" Cheng and I should leave, we have a early flight to catch and- "
" Don't do this to yourself, Zhu-Lin."
I was about to walk inside and her words that weighted on my name apart,cutted off mine halting my steps. I wanted to ask her what's she's talking about and feign ignorance. Regardless, both of us clearly know what she's talking about precisely.
" Can we... Just not talk about this. Atleast not today? "
My weak voice almost came faltered by the slow ache that seemed to surface just by thinking about the past events. However, in return a scoff was all I could earn from her.
Typical of her to be honest.
" When then?? You wasted off two years of your life for that son of a- "
" Mom. "
She never got angry enough to curse at anyone, she always held her anger to a point . Countless at that when it came to her clients, dad and even me when I broke our family heirloom because I wanted to show it to the idiot who's inside still glued in his phone I presume.
The thing is, I never even nearly heard her cursing a person. Nonetheless now, she almost did. A person,who she seen as her own son at a time.
My eyes are already giving off heat, maybe by the cold wind brushing past and she just appeared to pour gasoline on it now.
" I don't know why you two break out things. But I damn well know it wasn't you, you lo- "
" I did. "
She looked at me like I'm spewing out absurdity as my reply.
Anyone who seen me almost two years ago with him would've stared at me the same way as her.
That's how much I was in love with him. I loved him so much it could be realized solely by my gaze. That's how it's always been. I threw off everything to be with him or I just never did at all, because I had nothing to throw away from the start. It was always him to the point I had nothing else to call mine to throw away.
