Silent Tides of the Deep Blue Sea

Chapter 5: Almost

The box of letters had become both a comfort and a source of pain for Lia. Each day, she found herself sitting in the same spot by the window, bracing for the emotions that would flood in as she unfolded another piece of Mason's story.

The letters were a window into a world she never knew existed, into the thoughts and feelings Mason had hidden so well from her when they were young.

Today, as the early morning light filtered through the curtains, Lia reached for another letter. The paper was worn, the edges creased as if Mason had folded and unfolded it countless times before deciding not to send it. Her fingers trembled slightly as she opened it, knowing that with each word, she was diving deeper into the past—into a time when everything between them had been unspoken yet achingly present.

"Dear Lia,

I wonder if you ever noticed how often I was watching you.

Not in a creepy way—at least, I hope not. I was just always... looking. I guess it started when we were kids, playing by the beach, but it got worse in high school. You were so bright, so full of life, and I kept waiting for the right moment to say something—to tell you that I loved you. But I never did.

I was a coward, Lia. I can admit that now. I thought that if I said it, everything would change. I didn't want to risk losing what we had, so I stayed silent. I convinced myself that you'd be happier not knowing, that it was better for you to live your life without me complicating things.

I'd see you laughing with our friends, dancing at school events, and I'd think: Maybe this is enough. Maybe it's enough to just love you from a distance, to watch you be happy even if it's not with me.

But it wasn't enough. Not really.

There was a moment, though. A moment when I almost told you. Do you remember the high school dance? We almost kissed. Almost. I've played that moment over in my head so many times since then, wondering what would've happened if we hadn't been interrupted.

I wonder if you ever think about it too.

-Mason"

Lia blinked, her heart racing as the words sank in. He loved her. He had loved her all along, and she had never known. The thought sent her mind spinning. How had she missed it? How had she not seen the signs? The way he always seemed to be there, watching her, laughing with her, staying close but never too close. She had always assumed that was just who Mason was—her best friend, her constant companion. But now, she saw it in a new light.

Her hands shook slightly as she set the letter down, leaning back against the chair as a wave of memories crashed over her. That high school dance. She remembered it so clearly.

---

It had been the night of their senior prom, and the gym had been transformed with twinkling lights and soft music. Lia had felt awkward at first, out of place in the dress her mother had insisted she wear, but Mason had been by her side all night, making her laugh, helping her forget her insecurities.

They had danced together, laughing at their lack of rhythm, bumping into each other as they swayed to the music. It had felt like any other moment they shared—lighthearted, easy. But as the night went on, something shifted.

There had been a slow song, one of those cheesy ballads that always played at school dances. Mason had taken her hand, pulling her close. She had felt the warmth of his body against hers, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air. They had swayed in silence for a while, neither of them saying a word, but there was something in the way Mason looked at her that night—something she hadn't quite been able to name at the time.

Their eyes had locked, and for a split second, it felt like the whole world had fallen away. There was only Mason, his hand on the small of her back, his gaze soft and intense. They had leaned in, closer and closer, and Lia had been sure—so sure—that they were about to kiss.

But then, out of nowhere, one of their friends had come barreling over, laughing and teasing them, breaking the moment. Mason had pulled back, laughing awkwardly, and Lia had laughed too, even though her heart had been pounding in her chest.

They had brushed it off, pretending like it hadn't meant anything, but the tension lingered between them for the rest of the night. Lia had caught Mason glancing at her several times, a strange, unreadable expression on his face. She had wanted to ask him about it, to figure out what that moment had been, but she had been too afraid.

Afraid of what it might mean for their friendship, for everything they had built together over the years.

---

Lia let out a shaky breath as the memory faded, her heart still racing. She had thought about that almost-kiss so many times since then, wondering what might have happened if they hadn't been interrupted. But she had never imagined that Mason had felt the same—that he had wanted it just as much as she had.

Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions, a mixture of regret, sadness, and longing. All this time, Mason had been holding back, watching her from a distance, loving her without ever saying a word. And now it was too late. He was gone, and she would never have the chance to tell him how she had felt.

She picked up the letter again, her eyes scanning Mason's words, trying to find some sense of closure, some understanding of why he had kept it all hidden. But all she found was the same sadness that had always lingered between them, unspoken and unresolved.

Lia folded the letter carefully and placed it back in the box, her mind spinning with questions. Why hadn't he told her? Why had he chosen to love her from afar, to stay silent when everything between them could have been so different?

She stood up, pacing the room as her thoughts raced. It was like a puzzle she was trying to piece together, but there were still too many missing pieces. The letters had given her glimpses into Mason's heart, but they hadn't answered all the questions that burned inside her.

But maybe that was the point. Maybe there were some questions that would never be answered, some feelings that would never be fully understood.

As Lia stared out the window at the setting sun, she felt the weight of the letters pressing down on her. There were still more to read, still more truths to uncover, but for now, all she could do was hold onto the memories—the good and the bad—and try to find some way to move forward.

But how do you move forward when the person you loved most is gone?