Infinite Shades of Him (bxb)

2. I don't want to go.

"Atlas."

Atlas swallowed hard and started backing away again, looking in several directions, but I wanted him to stop. I knew him, and I knew him well based on how my body was reacting to his nearness.

I didn't want him to go. My mind had never been so quiet before. And while I was confused, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy around him. Emotions were always going to be my first identifier of someone familiar.

I remembered him so vaguely, though. Out of everyone, I remembered the least about him. I didn't understand why. And seeing as Atlas looked as if he'd rather be anywhere else, I wondered what might have transpired between us to make him feel this way.

Guided by what felt like instinct, I reached out and wrapped my fingers around his arm. "Atlas." His eyes immediately dropped to the touch of mine. "We were friends. I... remember you. Did we stop being friends?"

Hazel eyes snapped to mine again before he pulled out of my grasp and bolted away. The comfort was gone—it seeped out of me slowly with every step he took to escape me. I had this sudden urge to cry.

I couldn't let him go.

"Atlas!" I screamed helplessly. He froze mid-step at my cry for him. One that shocked not only him but me, too. "Wait! Please, look at me!"

Atlas turned around slowly once again—listening to me as if he was programmed to do just that. I inhaled sharply and started for him again. He didn't move. He stood there like a brick wall. I wanted to understand what was happening.

My brother was hovering—I could feel how strong his presence had gotten. That meant Atlas meant something to me, and my brother was making sure I processed it correctly like he had when I saw Alicia, Lee, and Gavin.

I reached for Atlas again, and he let me touch his arm. My fingers wrapped around the leather fabric of his jacket. "Atlas, please don't run from me."

Atlas's eyes didn't leave mine, even if it appeared it pained him to keep up with me. He still didn't speak, but his jaw was clenched tightly—as if there were over a million things he wanted to say.

I frowned as I stepped closer to him. "Atlas, did we stop being friends? Do... you not like me anymore?"

His eyes widened slightly, and as if guided by his own instinct, he grew even closer to me, like a shield from the outside world. He hovered over me like a protective dome, looking down at me as if this was the only job he was made for.

He slowly shook his head, refuting my questions and dismissing them into the wind. They weren't true. We were still friends. And now, I felt guilty for not understanding why I didn't know him very well from my working memory, but my emotions were highly attached to him.

I slid my hand down to his, and he froze like a block of ice. I wished to feel his warmth. No idea why. Maybe to bring him some of the comfort he was giving me. Even if I couldn't make sense of it.

Those eyes never left mine as he strained to maintain eye contact. "Atlas," I whispered. "Do you want me around you? If not, I can—"

"Miles."

When he said my name, I swallowed the rest of my words. I forgot how to breathe. I couldn't make sense of a single moment of this. I knew him, but I felt it was in a far different way than my other friends. Like, maybe we were closer friends than the others. I also got the feeling that he came into my life during the periods of time that I lost my memories.

It would make sense. 

Maybe that was why he was shocked to see me. It was entirely possible that he knew of my memory loss. My other friends did, so why wouldn't he? Especially considering it seemed our friendship was different from the others. I had these insane instincts that were stronger than any memory could be. The overwhelming sense of comfort when I was around Atlas was... wild. He was safe.