Yibo sat quietly on his bed, the leather-bound diary resting heavily in his hands. He didn’t know what he was looking for when he took it from Sean’s apartment. Maybe some piece of comfort, maybe just a distraction from the crushing emptiness he couldn’t escape. But now, as the quiet night pressed in around him, he felt compelled to open it.
The first few pages were filled with small notes—dates, lists, thoughts about Sean’s day. Some were light and amusing, giving Yibo glimpses of his friend’s quiet humor. But then, something shifted in the tone. The entries grew more personal, and Yibo found himself drawn in deeper.
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July 8th, 2016
Nothing much today. Just errands and coffee. Ran into him again—he teased me about my black coffee, said I take life way too seriously. It was stupid, but it made me laugh. Strange how little things like that stay with you longer than they should.
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August 15th, 2016
He forgot his jacket at the café. I could’ve just texted him to remind him, but I took it with me instead. Maybe I wanted to see him again sooner. Or maybe I just wanted to hold on to something of his for a while longer.
---
Yibo smiled faintly, picturing Sean carrying someone’s forgotten jacket, tucking it under his arm with a fond smile on his face. It was such a Sean thing to do. Yibo kept reading, slowly piecing together the subtle emotions in Sean’s words.
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September 5th, 2016
I don’t know when it started, this feeling. It wasn’t sudden, more like a slow drift. One day you wake up and realize someone has become the center of your world, without you even noticing. And they don’t know. They can’t know.
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September 28th, 2016
It’s strange, loving someone in silence. It’s like holding a secret too big for words, a quiet ache you carry with you everywhere. I try to pretend it’s not there, but some days, it’s impossible to ignore. He’s always right there, and yet so far away.
---
Yibo’s breath caught. The words felt heavy, filled with an ache he couldn’t quite grasp. Sean had been in love—with someone close enough to know his coffee habits, someone who made him laugh with small teases and left him carrying forgotten jackets.
He turned the page, his heart beating a little faster.
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October 12th, 2016
He smiled at me today, just a casual smile. But it hit me harder than I expected. It’s ridiculous how much I crave these little moments. A smile, a laugh, even just standing next to him—each moment feels like it’s both a gift and a curse. I know he doesn’t feel the same. I know I need to let this go.
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October 25th, 2016
Some nights, I lie awake wondering what it would be like to tell him. To just say it, and let the chips fall where they may. But I don’t. I can’t. Things are good the way they are—at least for him. And if he’s happy, that’s enough, right? It has to be.
---
Yibo felt a knot form in his chest, the weight of the unspoken emotions pressing down on him. Sean had kept this love hidden, locked away where no one could see. Who was it for? Yibo tried to piece together the clues—the teasing, the smiles, the shared moments—but the answer eluded him.
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November 4th, 2016
I brought him white roses today. He once said he liked them, though I don’t think he remembers. It was a small thing, but it felt important to me. Maybe because it’s one of the few things I can do without him knowing how much it means.
---
Yibo froze. White roses. The memory flickered in his mind—Sean holding those roses, a quiet smile on his face. He had given Yibo roses before, hadn’t he? But Yibo had never thought anything of it.
The realization stirred something deep within him, but it was still too vague, too distant to grasp fully.
---
December 1st, 2016
It’s getting harder to act normal around him. Every smile feels like a lie, every laugh like a mask I can’t take off. I keep hoping this will fade, that I’ll wake up one day and it’ll be gone. But it’s not. It’s always there. And he doesn’t even see it.
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December 25th, 2016
He gave me a gift today—just a small one, nothing grand. But it meant the world to me. I don’t think he’ll ever know how much these little gestures mean. And maybe that’s for the best. Some things are easier to keep unsaid.
---
Yibo’s hands shook as he turned the pages. The quiet, unspoken love that Sean carried was more than just a passing infatuation—it was something deep, enduring, and heartbreaking.
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January 15th, 2017
I think I’ve made peace with it—or at least I’m trying to. Some people are meant to love quietly, without expectation. Maybe that’s the only kind of love I’ll ever know. And that has to be okay.
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February 2nd, 2017
He looked so happy today. I should be happy too—after all, his happiness is all that matters. But it hurts. It hurts more than I can put into words.
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March 5th, 2017
There are moments when I think about telling him. Just blurting it out and seeing what happens. But every time, I stop myself. I can’t risk losing him. Loving him from a distance is better than not having him at all.
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April 1st, 2017
Maybe some loves are meant to stay hidden—silent miracles you carry with you, even if no one ever knows. And that’s okay. It has to be.
---
Yibo closed the diary, his hands trembling. The weight of Sean’s unspoken love settled heavily on his chest, a bittersweet ache that refused to leave. Sean had loved someone with everything he had, silently, selflessly. And now, that love was gone—lost forever, buried along with him.
Yibo stared at the closed diary, the silence of the room pressing in around him. Who was it? Who had Sean loved so deeply, so quietly? And why had Yibo never noticed?
The questions gnawed at him, leaving him with a strange, hollow feeling. There was something he had missed—something important. And now, it was too late to ask.
As Yibo sat there, clutching the diary to his chest, a wave of sorrow washed over him. Sean’s love story would remain unfinished, a secret only the pages of his diary knew. And Yibo would carry the weight of that silence with him, forever wondering what he hadn’t seen.
In the stillness of the night, Yibo whispered into the darkness:
“I’m sorry, Sean.”
