Let me in - Art the clown/reader

One shot

Just another bad trip, that's all this was as mismatching colours swirled around your room from blue to green to yellow in a rhythmic dance, pulsating like a kaleidoscope. You felt as though you were floating, detached from the reality you'd almost become comfortable in to distract yourself from the dissociation that threatened to consume you whole, and, thus, you embraced your usual coping mechanism, picking up a blade and slicing into your wrist with a practiced motion. Crimson beaded and rolled down your arm, a sharp sting pulling you back to the present, a reminder that this was real, that this was happening and that it would come to an end. You are real, you are alive. Just another bad trip. Your blood transcended with the colours as you sliced some more, you smile, happy with your masterpiece and a sense of calm washed over you as you place the blade down and next to the pills you took recently. You called this a bad trip, but you knew it was a good one and that when it was over you would seek comfort in the arms of your narcissistic room mate, only to be denied it, so for now, you would continue to call it another bad trip.

So, when the air shifted and your bedroom door swung open, you barely noticed or you were too euphoric perhaps to care. Through the haze of your vision, however, a face emerged, a bloodied clown with black and white face paint and a black dot at the tip of his nose. He smiled, his teeth dirtied and yellow and you smiled back in fascination. "This is new." You slurred. "I never see faces."

The clown cocked his head slightly to the side and his smile faded somewhat before his brows raised into a surprised glare, his eyes setting on the new cuts on your arms and then to the blade next to you. He pointed at the blade, then to you, as if to ask if you'd done it to yourself, he never said a word as he sat face to face with you.

"Yes." You laughed to which he clapped, proud of the harm you'd inflicted. There was something unsettling yet oddly captivating about the clown you believed your brain had conjured, the colours pirouetting around him like they were drawn to him, you studied his every move as he studied yours. He picked up the pill bottle next to you, examined the contents and shook his head as if disappointed.

The clown reached his bloody gloved hand toward the blade that was slick with your blood, picking it up to observe it. With a quick exaggerated motion, his fingers danced over the metal before popping it into his mouth and sucking every last drop of the liquid. A small part of you recoiled in horror, while the rest of you felt a thrill at the sight, excited at the way his eyes rolled back as he enjoyed the taste of you. A small shaky breath left your cracked lips as a heat rose within. He pulled the sharp metal out from between his lips and smirked at you, eager fingers shoving the blade back into your hand, willing you to go again. Complying, you placed the blade to your arm, watching how his nose flared and his lips parted while you cut into your flesh, he practically drooled at the sight of fresh blood mingling with dried blood. You groaned, happy to be pleasing him as you slashed three more times. You held your arm out to him, delighted with your work. The clown silently laughed and gripped your arm tight, pulling it to his black lips, his tongue swirling around the fresh wounds, lapping up every trickle. A small moan left you, earning a startled glance from the clown, his lips shaped in an 'o' which quickly turned into an animalistic smile as he pulled away, satisfied, the colours around him fluctuating. You were far too lucid to pay mind to the impossibility of the dream soaked reality you had fabricated to truly appreciate your situation, and the fact that, this clown, however improbable he may seem, clearly cannot be a hallucination.

"Can you see them?" You suddenly ask, mesmerised at the way the clown amplified your surroundings.

The clown tilted his head, unsure as to what you meant.

"The colours, the faces." You continue.

Art glanced around your room for a second and then shook his head.