Wind (a novel)

Chapter Eleven - Breaking Point

The sun had set, and the dim light of Paulo's apartment flickered gently as he and Annie sat across from each other, the weight of the previous days pressing down on them.

The air was thick with unspoken words, the tension between them almost unbearable. Paulo's hands trembled as he passed Annie a small, worn notebook, its pages yellowed with age.

"I've been writing poems for you," Paulo said quietly, his voice cracking under the strain of everything they had been through. "Since we were kids. Even after we lost touch in college, I couldn't stop. I never could." He swallowed hard, fighting the emotion rising in his chest. "I kept writing for you, Annie, even when we only emailed each other."

Annie's eyes softened as she opened the journal, her fingers tracing the delicate, looping handwriting on the pages. She flipped through the poems, her heart swelling with memories—of their youth, of stolen glances, of moments shared when everything seemed possible. Every line, every word, was a piece of Paulo's heart laid bare, a testament to the love he had carried for her all these years.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked back at him, the depth of his love for her hitting her in a way she hadn't expected. "Paulo," she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. "I never knew..."

But Paulo's face darkened. He turned away from her, his jaw tight. "It doesn't matter anymore," he said bitterly. "I've lost everything."

"What do you mean?" Annie asked, a sinking feeling growing in her stomach.

"I've been removed," Paulo said, his words sharp and pained. "Pastor James is replacing me. A new pastor will take over next week. I'm no longer a leader in my church. I'm no longer anything."

Annie felt a strange mix of emotions—shock, sadness for Paulo's pain, but also a flicker of happiness, a selfish thought that maybe, just maybe, this meant there was nothing standing in the way of their love anymore. But the relief she felt was short-lived. Paulo's anguish was unmistakable, and it tore at her heart.

"Paulo, I'm so sorry," Annie said, reaching for his hand, but he pulled away, his expression twisted with frustration.

"Sorry?" he spat, his voice rising in anger. "Annie, this wasn't supposed to happen. I just wanted to see you, to catch up, to... I don't know, see where things could go. But this—" He gestured between them, his voice shaking. "This happened so fast, and now everything I've worked for is gone. And for what?"

His words stung Annie like a slap to the face. She stared at him, her heart aching, trying to make sense of what he was saying. "Are you blaming me?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Paulo's anger faltered for a moment, but then he looked away, his eyes full of guilt and frustration. "I don't know," he muttered. "I just... I never meant for this to happen. I didn't want to ruin everything."

Annie's chest tightened, the hurt building inside her. "I never meant for any of this to happen either, Paulo," she said, her voice cracking. "I thought this was what you wanted. I thought we were finally going to build something together. Like we used to talk about when we were kids—building a life, a family. I thought this was our chance."

Paulo's face softened, his anger giving way to sorrow, but the tension still hung between them. "Annie... I do love you. I've always loved you. But this—this isn't what I'm supposed to be. It's not aligned with my calling."

Annie's heart shattered at his words, and she could feel herself slipping into the familiar despair she had tried so hard to escape. "So, what are you saying? That we should just end this? That everything we've shared, everything we've been through, means nothing?"

Paulo sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what I'm saying," he admitted. "But maybe we should part ways... while we still can. Before it gets any harder."

Annie's eyes blazed with anger, her voice rising in disbelief. "While we still can? How dare you, Paulo. How dare you tell me that after everything we've been through. After the last two nights... after you told me you loved me. You want to walk away now? Just like that?"

Paulo looked at her, his face filled with regret, but he couldn't bring himself to respond. He couldn't deny that the pull of his faith, of his responsibility to the church, still weighed heavily on him.

Annie's pain and fury grew with every second of silence. "You don't get to do this, Paulo. You don't get to say you love me and then push me away when things get hard." Her voice broke as tears streamed down her face. "I've loved you for so long. And now that we've finally found each other again, you're leaving me all over again?"

Paulo took a step toward her, his heart aching at the sight of her tears. "Annie, I—"

"No!" she shouted, her anger boiling over. "I can't do this. I can't keep fighting for someone who isn't willing to fight for me. I thought you wanted this, too. I thought you wanted us..."

She turned away from him, her shoulders shaking with sobs. Without another word, Annie grabbed her backpack and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Paulo stood frozen, his heart heavy with guilt and sorrow, watching as the woman he had loved for so long disappeared into the night.

Annie didn't tell him where she was going, and for the first time in his life, Paulo felt utterly lost.