Lost

Cecily

    I've been sitting on this bench for I don't know how long, but I think it's pretty late because the streets are getting empty and the playground in front of me feels eerie.

I left the cafe at eleven when they were going to close it.

Ithaca in Autumn has always been my favourite. The slow mornings and quiet nights are just all so tranquil and aesthetic. It is one of the most underrated things of New York and that's what makes it perfect. But right now this night feels lonely. I feel like I've been carrying a weight of tons and now it's crumbling down, crashing upon me while all I can do is stare at it.

Lia wouldn't ghost me, I know that.

Or probably I don't.

I shift on the bench uncomfortably at the thought of not knowing her. I've been her confidant since as long as I can remember. How can she do that to me? Her sister—her step-sister. It's like the ground is slipping away beneath me.

The wind touches my pale skin making me shiver a bit.

I have a coffee in my hand which is growing cold with every passing second. I bought it before leaving Piona's because it seems unethical to me to go into some shop, sit there for hours and not even buy anything. I close my eyes to feel the remaining warmth of the paper cup in my palms.

I see Lia, smiling. Her freckles highlight as she smiles and her brown eyes glistens. She looks so pretty with her olive skin and brown eyes, it's like a perfect combination. Unlike me.

I have pale skin thanks to my mom and amber eyes thanks to my dad. They always used to say that my eyes would suit Lia and I think it would.

My phone rings, and I keep my eyes closed to pray that it's Lia.

''Pleasepleasepleaseplease.'' I chant before opening my eyes.

Uria. It's Uria.

I ignore her call and silence my phone before putting it in my bag. I hate when my quality time is disturbed, especially by my dorm mates. It's not like that I don't like them but c'mon we're together 24/7, at least give me sometime when I am out.

I close my eyes again but this time I don't see anyone. I just cry. Silently.

I don't know why I am crying, like always and no one comforts me, like always.

I walk to the dorm at midnight or later than that. I still haven't seen the time. It's absurd to keep watching time when you have nothing to do. I enter the gate under the grand entry of Crickets singing for me. I write my time in the register and get upstairs to my room. It's almost dark on the stairs with blue light bulbs on each floor making it feel more like an abandoned hospital than a college dorm. I knock before opening the door because you never know...

Uria opens the door frantically, ''Where the fuck have you been?'' She lets me in and walks back and forth, ''Do you know how many times I have called you? Thirty, idiot. Thirty.'' She is yelling again and she looks as if she had a big nightmare. I put my hand on her shoulder but she jerks it away, ''I was fucking terrified, Cec.'' Her voice lowers a bit, ''Talia's phone is off and you were not answering my calls. Her brother called me and asked where she is because it's unlike her to switch off her phone.'' I watch her numbly and sit on my bed releasing a heavy sigh.

''It's all weird but it still makes sense. Talia has nomophobia but its possible that she is busy and has no clue about her phone?'' I say but then I realise that it makes literally no sense.

''With whom huh?'' Uria crosses her arms as if she is interrogating me, ''Gin says he is in New York for some trip. How can she be gone for this long and where?'' Anxiety starts to fill in and I begin to understand how complex this situation is. She looks outside the open window and closes it after a while.