hourglass stories of me and you

II

Back in the present, as the funeral attendees began to file out of the hall, Lingling's gaze drifted to Orm once more. The memories came flooding back faster now, memories she had kept locked away for far too long. There was one night, in particular, that stood out among the rest—the night she almost told Orm everything.

It had been a humid night in Macau, and they were staying at a hotel with a stunning view of the city. The fanmeet was set for the following day, and the adrenaline from their recent TSOU success still buzzed in the air. They had been smiling for the cameras, laughing for the fans, but beneath Lingling's calm exterior, she was battling something much more personal—something much harder to hide.

Orm had been her usual bubbly self earlier that day despite being under the weather, effortlessly charming the fans with her radiant energy. It was the kind of charisma that had drawn Lingling in from the beginning, back when they first worked on TSOU. Yet, during one of the interviews, Orm had casually mentioned how people had been flirting with her more often lately.

"I guess it's funny," Orm had said, laughing lightly, "people come up to me, send me DMs, or ask me out. I don't know what to do with all that attention sometimes."

The comment was innocent enough, but it struck Lingling deeply, though she tried not to show it. She had always been the reserved one, the older one, the one who felt responsible for keeping boundaries clear. There was a seven-year gap between them, after all. It wasn't just their personalities that made her hesitate—it was the age difference, the fear that she might be holding Orm back from experiencing more.

In an interview not too long ago, Lingling had made an offhand comment when asked about their relationship. She had said, "I think N'Orm should meet other people. There's a whole world out there for her to explore." At the time, it seemed like the most logical thing to say, a way to maintain their boundaries. But now, as she stood on the rooftop that night in Macau, those words echoed painfully in her mind, feeling more like a lie than ever. Her heart clenched every time Orm mentioned other people, every time someone flirted with her or asked her out. But Lingling couldn't bring herself to say the truth. It would complicate things—ruin what they had built, or so she thought.

Lingling had been restless that night, the city lights below offering little comfort. She had slipped out of her hotel room for some fresh air, hoping to clear her head before the big day. The rooftop seemed like the perfect place to be alone.

Except she wasn't alone.

The moment she stepped out onto the rooftop, she saw Orm standing there, leaning against the railing, her arms wrapped around herself as she stared out at the glittering skyline. Orm turned her head slightly at the sound of Lingling's footsteps. Her eyes widened for a second, surprised to see Lingling, but her expression quickly softened. "Can't sleep?" she asked quietly.

Lingling shook her head, stepping closer until she stood beside Orm, their shoulders almost touching. "No. You?"

Orm sighed, her breath misting slightly in the humid air. "Not really." She turned her head, her eyes searching Lingling's face, her expression vulnerable in a way Lingling rarely saw. "Sometimes, I feel like we're just wandering," Orm murmured. "Like we're caught in this maze, and I don't know where it ends, or if there even is an end."

There was a wistful softness in Orm's voice that tugged at Lingling's heart. "Do you ever feel like that?"

Lingling smiled faintly, her heart aching. She knew exactly what Orm meant. In that moment, Lingling envied P'Mor, who was always certain about her love. She could never be that person—Lingling was always second-guessing, always holding herself back. She swallowed hard, her fingers tightening around the railing as she struggled to put her thoughts into words.

"There are times," Lingling began, her voice barely above a whisper, "when I don't know either. But there's one thing I do know..."

"I know that..." Lingling hesitated, her throat tightening with emotion. She wanted to say it. The words were on the tip of her tongue. I love you. It was so simple, yet so terrifying. What if Orm pulled away?

Orm waited, her breath soft, her eyes searching Lingling's. "What is it, P'Ling?" Her voice was a whisper too—something unspoken that hung in the humid night air. The closeness between them felt overwhelming, but also right, as if this was where they were always meant to be.

But then, the moment passed. Lingling broke eye contact, looking down at her hands gripping the railing.

"I know that... we're going to do great tomorrow," she finished, her voice distant, flat. It wasn't what she wanted to say. It wasn't the truth. But it was the safest thing she could manage. She couldn't risk it, not now. Not when their careers were on the line, and the uncertainty of Orm's feelings loomed over her.

Orm's smile faltered for a second, and Lingling thought she saw a flicker of disappointment in her eyes. But Orm quickly recovered, turning her gaze back to the skyline. "Yeah. We always do."

They stood there in silence after that, the city stretching out beneath them, the quiet hanging heavy between them. Lingling could feel the unspoken words still lingering, the weight of what could have been. They never talked about that night again.

And now, as Lingling sat at the funeral, stealing a glance at Orm, she wondered if it was already too late. If Orm had already found the missing piece of her heart elsewhere, the piece Lingling had been too afraid to claim for herself.