Conspicuous Lies (Book 1 In The Conspicuous Series)

01: The Girl Who Confessed

Damon grabs my arm and drags me back into the boarding house. "Damon! Ouch, Damon, your hurting me!" I exclaim, tears welling up in my eyes all over again. When we get to the foyer, Damon pins me against the wall.
"What the hell do you think you are doing here? If Katherine finds out your back, she's going to kill you!" He whispers.
"Damon your hurting me." I say, tears streaming down my cheeks. His face immediately softened. He releases my arms and I race away from him as fast as possible. Damon walks over to the bourbon and pours himself a glass. "I see you helped yourself." Damon comments, not looking at me as he puts the bourbon away. He turns around takes a sip of bourbon and stares at me. "Its been almost a century. What made you come back now?" He asks.
"I-I don't know."
He chuckles. But not the nice chuckling I remember him doing all those years ago. It was an angry, an irritated, kind of chuckle. "Obviously, you would know since your here."
"Damon-"
"Don't... Damon me. You left, so why do you think it's appropriate to come back all these years later, thinking your going to get a warm greeting from everyone who knows you."
I sigh. He's right.
"Your-your right. But I didn't come back for you or to get a warm greeting from you. I didn't even know you and Stefan were back."
"Bullshit."
"What?"
He slowly makes his way over to me.
"I said bullshit. You knew Stefan and I were here. You came for Stefan."
He finishes the sentence, getting in my face, staring into my eyes with such intensity.
I swallow hard, remembering the times when I was used to him being this close to me, so close that are lips could almost touch. It was painful just thinking about it. I look away, feeling awkward.
He continues to look into my eyes. "If you think I'm going to let you go back to Stefan just to end up getting killed by Katherine, your wrong. I don't care if she kills me herself, the only person who will be by your side, protecting you, will be me. Your not staying in your apartment anymore. Your staying here." He explains.
I look away. Finally, I speak. "Fine."
"What?"
"I said fine. I'll stay here for a bit." I confess. Damon smirks. "We'll see. You may like staying here so much you'll stay longer." Damon comments doing his irritable eye thing. I roll my eyes and look down at my dress. "Well, I'm still going to have to go back to my apartment to get my clothes." I say.
"Okay, I'll just go pick them up on my way." He says, going into his closet. "Where are you going?" I ask, suspicious of where he's going. "To get Stefan. While you were in here lolygaging around, a bunch of the tomb vampires kidnapped him." Damon explains like it's no big deal. "What!?! But he was at the masquerade ball when I was there." I exclaim. "Yeah, but right after you left Katherine sent them in." Damon says, stepping out of his closet and buttoning up his shirt. "Then I'm coming with you." I demand. "No your not." He says.
"You don't understand, Damon."
"Oh, yes, I understand. He's your best friend. He's the way that you live. His love lifts you up where you belong. I get it." Damon teases, finishing the sentence with a emotionless face.
"I'm coming with you." I ignore. "Fine, Amber, you can drive the getaway car. Your not going in the house." He says, sitting on the couch. I sigh. "Fine. I'm going to go take a shower even though I don't have any clothes to wear." I say. As I make my way to the bathroom, I can feel Damon's eyes on me, watching every movement I make. As I turn the shower on, I can hear Damon opening a bottle of bourbon and taking multiple gulps out of it. I sigh, entering the shower as I feel the warm water glide off my skin. I think about all the times Damon and I spent together. It made me angry how attracted I still am to him. Our relationship is complicated. But I don't want it to be complicated. I want it to be non-existent. I want it to be hatred, not love. Anger, not joyful. But the more time I spend with him, the more I fall down the rabbit hole of his love.
I step out of the shower, grabbing a towel to dry myself off with. I make my way over to the guest bedroom, still in a towel, opening the door. I flinch as I see Damon, sitting on the bed, his shirt unbuttoned holding a bottle of bourbon. "Jeez, Damon, you scared me."
"Really? I thought you were jumping for joy." He sarcastically snaps back. "You okay?" I ask, gliding into the room further. Damon gives me a thumbs up as answer. "Have you been drinking?" I ask. He puts his thumb and his index finger up to say "a little bit". "And your upset. That's not a good combination." I say, shaking my head. "I'm not upset. Upset is a emotion a human feels. I'm not a human." He points out. I sit down on the bed as well, looking at him. Damon slowly gets up. "Amber?" He calls, getting closer to me. "Mm." I reply. He steps in front of me. I stare down at him, as the bed is tall enough for me to be taller then him if I sit on it. "Do you have feelings for Stefan?" He asks. I look at him, surprised, then look away. "Damon-"
"Answer me." He says, stepping closer. He sets his hands right next to my thighs, leaning closer to me. "No. I don't. Were just friends." I respond.
"Do you have feelings for me?" He asks. "Damon-"
"Answer me."
"Why are you asking me this!?" I snap. "Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you, I want you to remember the feelings that you felt while he was gone."
My eyes start to water with emotion. No, no, I shouldn't be crying over this. It's Damon. It's the man I'm supposed to hate.
He leans closer to me, about to kiss me when I look away. "Damon. Please." I say, all the explanation in my tone. He steps back, staring into my eyes. He turns around and walks away. But then he stops at the door of the guest bedroom and turns around. He starts moving closer to me again. "You know what, no. If I'm going to feel guilty about something, I'm going to feel guilty about this." He says and finishes by kissing me. My eyes widen before I close them. He puts his hands around my waist and moves me closer to him, like he's almost carrying me. I break the kiss, making him look confused. "Damon, this isn't right." I say, my lips swollen. He looks deep into my eyes before looking away angrily, realizing that I don't want to do this. He walks to the door in three long strides, opens the door and slams it behind him. I hear him put his leather jacket on, grab his keys with another bottle of bourbon and leave. I hear him start his car and drive off. I look around the room to find a piece of vanilla colored paper sitting on the bed. I look at it to see the letter I wrote him just hours before. Tears well up in my eyes. That's why he asked me if I had feelings for him. He couldn't tell if I hated him or didn't. And even I don't know anymore. I just kissed him while telling myself I hated him. But the attraction I feel towards him is indefinite and existential. No matter how much I say I hate him, it will never be true.