The Equivocator

Chapter 2

I lied on my bed, staring at the plain white ceiling of my room in a daze. God, I had been so close to doing something I knew I would have regretted. I replayed the day in my head again, how he leaned in so close to me. I could still remember the smell of him, a mixture of after shave, and what can only be described as the smell of manliness. "Uggh," I said to myself. I knew what he did today was done on purpose to mess with me, to play with my emotions like he did with all the other girls. I needed to get him out of my head, he would only try to screw me, break my heart, and call the broken pieces a casualty of war. I knew what would make the sound of his voice, his good looks, the way he smelled, forgettable. I rubbed my head, and sighed while I reached for my tablet. I typed in one of my favorite porn websites, and went searching for a video.

******

"Alice, hurry up!" Amica whined through my bathroom door. "All the good booze is going to be gone if we don't get there soon."

I slammed my brush down, wishing my hair wasn't so thick and unruly. I opened the door and yelled, "Well, that's too bad, considering you shouldn't be drinking anyway."

I heard Delilah snicker, then say, "Ow! She has a point." I looked in the mirror, I was wearing a white long sleeve lace shirt, and a black pleated skirt. The outfit needed something though, so I rummaged around in my jewelry box for a necklace. I pulled out my silver locket, and felt my hands start trembling. A tear slid down my face as I carefully put the necklace back at the bottom of my jewelry box. I did not need to think about that right then, especially since this was the first party I was going to since last year. I found a string of pearls that would have to do, and stepped out of the bathroom. I walked into my living room and looked at my friends sitting on my couch. Amica was wearing a spaghetti strap dress and pumps in her favorite color, pink. Delilah was wearing a black corset, black skinny jeans, and black spiked stilettos. They both looked me up and down, then again, then Amica shook her head.

"Uh Alice, I love you, and your outfit is cute but..." Amica looked over at Delilah.

Delilah rolled her eyes, "What she is trying to say, is that you look like you are going to a funeral." I glared at both of them, I was trying to look modest, but I didn't see a problem with my outfit. Just because I was going to a party didn't mean I had to show off my small boobs, or practically flash every guy my panties.

As I put on a pair of black flats I said, "I didn't want to go to this party to begin with, when I could be studying instead. I'm not changing anything, or I'm not going."

Amity rubbed her forehead, "Fine, can we just go already?"

Delilah added, "Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day."

"I love your spiritual quotes and all, but what I really want right now is to get drunk and grind against a hot guy," Amica retorted. And with that sentiment, we headed out of my small apartment and made our way to Amica's car.

We arrived at one of our college's fraternities, Omega Zeta Kappa, and could already hear the music blaring from outside. I felt my hands starting to get clammy as we walked towards the frat house. Maybe this was a bad idea, what if I did something stupid? Or ran into someone I didn't want to see? As I was considering turning around and taking a cab home, I felt Amica push me forward, then through the door. The house was filled to the brim with gyrating guys, and girls dressed in tight tops and dresses that barely covered their goods. Amica kept pushing me through the crowd of drunk people trying to dance to dubstep, until we reached the kitchen. Delilah said something to me, but I couldn't hear her over the music. Delilah pointed to a beer keg close by, then did a drinking gesture. I shook my head no. She shrugged, then went off with Amica to go get themselves a drink, and probably flirt with the frat boy passing them out.