chasing the Cat (M X M)

Chapter 7

The days that followed their conversation at the café were a rollercoaster of emotions for Akira. He tried to convince himself that things were back to normal, but the truth gnawed at him like an itch he couldn't scratch. Every time he caught Hiroshi's eye, his heart would race, and a rush of heat would flood his cheeks, making him feel utterly ridiculous.

At the office, Akira buried himself in work, frantically reviewing designs and schedules for the upcoming anniversary celebration. He hoped that if he focused hard enough, he could ignore the warmth he felt when Hiroshi smiled at him or brushed against him while reaching for a shared document.

"Hey, Akira!" Hiroshi called one afternoon, his voice bright and cheerful. "What do you think about incorporating student artwork into the invitation design?"

"Whatever," Akira replied, trying to sound disinterested as he glanced up from his screen. "It's not like it matters what I think." 

Hiroshi's face fell slightly. "It matters to me. I really value your opinion, you know?"

"Yeah, well, maybe I just don't want to spend all my time coddling kids' drawings," Akira muttered, attempting to maintain his tough exterior. Inside, however, his heart twisted at the thought of Hiroshi looking disappointed.

"Coddling?" Hiroshi echoed, his tone slightly hurt. "You're not even giving it a chance! These kids have so much creativity, and it could make the branding more relatable.

"Akira shifted uncomfortably, the realization that he was being stubborn creeping in. "Fine! If you want to do that, go ahead! Just don't expect me to help you fawn over their art like some overenthusiastic teacher!"

"Overenthusiastic? Is that what you think I am?" Hiroshi said, a mix of frustration and amusement in his voice. "I just want to make this celebration special for them, Akira!"

"Why do you care so much? It's just a project!" Akira shot back, his own insecurities spilling over. "You could just treat it like any other school event!"

"Because it's not just any other event!" Hiroshi replied, raising his voice slightly. "It's the 50th anniversary! It's a big deal, and it's a chance to show the kids how much they mean to this school!"

Akira felt his chest tighten at the intensity of Hiroshi's passion. "You're so annoying," he muttered, turning away to hide the flush creeping up his face. "You get all worked up over everything."

"Is that a bad thing?" Hiroshi asked, a note of hurt creeping into his voice. "Maybe if you cared a little more, you'd see how important this is."

"Why should I care?" Akira snapped, the defensive wall he had built around himself rising higher. "I'm just doing my job! I don't need to get emotionally involved!"

"Maybe that's your problem," Hiroshi said quietly, and Akira felt a pang of guilt stab at him.

 "You're afraid to let anyone in, even yourself."

"What do you know about it?" Akira retorted, feeling the heat of anger mix with embarrassment. "You don't know anything about me!"

"Maybe I want to know," Hiroshi replied softly, his eyes earnest. "Maybe I care about you more than you realize."

Akira's heart raced, caught between anger and something else entirely—something softer, more vulnerable. "Don't say stuff like that!" he exclaimed, his voice shaking slightly. "You're just making this more complicated!"

"Complicated?" Hiroshi echoed, a hurt look crossing his features. "I thought we were in this together. But it feels like you're pushing me away."

"Because I'm trying to protect myself!" Akira shouted, frustration spilling over. "What if I let you in and you decide I'm not worth it? I can't handle that!"

Hiroshi's expression shifted, a mix of surprise and understanding washing over him. "Akira..." he began, but Akira couldn't bear to hear anything more. "I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said, his voice cracking. "I'm just going to focus on the project. That's all that matters."

With that, Akira stormed out of the room, feeling the weight of his emotions bearing down on him. The hurt in Hiroshi's eyes haunted him as he walked away, each step feeling heavier than the last.Once alone in his office, Akira slammed the door shut, leaning against it as he fought back tears. *Why is this so hard?* He clenched his fists, frustration boiling over. He hated feeling vulnerable, hated that Hiroshi could see right through him.

"Stupid feelings," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why can't I just be normal?"As the hours ticked by, Akira's mind raced with thoughts of Hiroshi and their argument. Deep down, he didn't want to push Hiroshi away, but the fear of rejection loomed large. He wanted to reach out, to apologize, but pride held him back like a chain.

When the day finally came to an end, Akira gathered his things and headed out, heart heavy. He half-expected to see Hiroshi waiting, but the hallway was empty. Feeling a mixture of relief and disappointment, Akira walked to his car, heart pounding. He hated this feeling—this aching sense of loss that settled in his chest. Maybe Hiroshi was right. Maybe he was too scared to let anyone in."Ugh!" Akira groaned, smacking the steering wheel. 

"Why can't I just say what I mean?"As he drove home, the silence felt deafening, and the weight of unexpressed emotions pressed down on him. He felt like he was standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. Part of him wanted to bury himself in work and pretend everything was fine. But another part—a part he was growing to fear—yearned for the connection he had with Hiroshi.*What if I just—* Akira thought, gripping the steering wheel tighter. *What if I just let go?*But the idea terrified him. What if it all fell apart? What if Hiroshi didn't want him anymore?With a frustrated sigh, Akira pulled into his driveway, the familiar surroundings offering little comfort. He knew he had to face Hiroshi eventually, to sort out the mess between them. But the thought filled him with anxiety."Stupid feelings," he muttered again, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?"