wirting I make when upset

will i ever be good enough?

I look at the kid better at me wondering if I will ever be as good as them be pushing my self to my breaking point knowing I will never be them I will never be that perfect person and I act like I don't care but how it breaks me from my inside like A porcelain doll shattering under pressure  I feel like everyday it just a sad show where I have to prove a point to a audience that I'm worth something when none of them really care about my true feelings and just Want to hear that I'm fine and happy but never the truth that I want to die to the point I was never born I wish I can rip out my guts and scar myself with words of hate to myself because it the truth I hate Myself I feel like im the worst person to man like I don't deserve where I am
Someone save me from my over thinking.