Collection of Essays And Memoirs

Homecoming

"There is no place like home"

Staring out the bus window, I was lost in thought, recalling about life. I was in college when I left our house to live in the city, living in a small apartment with my siblings. For two years, the pandemic kept me home, but as cases subsided, I transitioned to on-campus learning in my third year of college, leaving behind the comfort of remote studies. I lived almost one year at San Jose City Nueva Ecija with my two siblings. My first time living in San Jose City is marked by culture shock. Although, I go to San Jose to buy things and explore, I've come to realize that living there is an entirely different experience. The diverse crowds, urban landscape, and fast paced rhythm becomes a complex reality when considered as residence.

At night, streets are ablaze with lights, from street lamps to household glow, creating a stark contrast to the province's darker landscapes. More than that, urban households often leave their lights on well into the night, breaking from the provincial tradition of early evenings. I still remember my parents scolding me for not sleeping early in the province. Quite contrasting to the life of the people who live in the city. Busy day and busy night seems like the norm. Morning wake-up calls differ: vehicles noise in the city, roosters in the province.

During days, people are seems to be moving fast with their different businesses. Large establishments and fast food area are everywhere. Roads are occupied by different vehicles, streets are full of vendors and many people are walking in the streets. Noise is deafening and the smoke from different vehicles is pervasive contributing to the climate of the area. As such, San Jose City is hot in terms of humidity similar to Cabanatuan where I took my internship at ASKI Foundation. Unlike in the province, San Jose City have a higher cost of living. I still remember, struggling to make one-thousand peso last for weeks due to expenses like transportation (fare), food and allowance.

Unlike the city, life in the province offers an authentic and tranquil experience, deeply rooted in community and nature. From elementary to high school, I have never left my hometown nor studied elsewhere. I lived along with farmlands, pastures, trees, gardens, and mountains. For us, this is what we called our treasure. Furthermore, I am also accustomed to beliefs of the elders in the community, since most of the people in my Barangay are Igorot or native.

As a province boy, adjusting to city life hasn't been easy, but I've come to realize that uncertainty is temporary. I'm a lifelong learner, always discovering and adapting - and that's okay. When you become matured, people will assume that you know everything. But the truth is, life is a never ending process of learning. And it's normal to feel disoriented in new surroundings, so allow yourself to feel and process your emotions, knowing they're valid. Acceptance is key to navigating the unknown. But sometimes, there are also times that you need to adapt to fit in the society. But be careful, as Alvin Toffler reminds us of the power of change in our lives. As the warning goes, once you delve into the culture of others there is a chance that you will forget your own. In line with this, change is powerful in the life of others, but it is also dangerous. Hence, people should be reminded to adapt but never forget your own. To adapt is necessary for survival but don't allow it to kill your own.

Carranglan's mountainous landscape unfolded as the bus continued its journey. When I left our house to study in college, commute system becomes my habit. Honestly, I'm not into travelling far since when I was in Elementary and High School, I prefer to walk, since the school is near our house. Things suddenly change when I go to college, commute system becomes the norm. When I was in San Jose, I always board jeep to go in the university. The fair was twenty-five pesos and it will took fifteen to twenty minutes depending on traffic. So when ask "Hanggang saan aabot ang twenty five peso mo? [How far will your twenty-five pesos take you?" student would say "CLSU", as this is how it looks like to become a commuter in San Jose City. This funny question was referenced to the advertisement of Cornetto ice cream.

When I was a kid, I used to think we were getting used to frequent travels. But it turns out we're not getting used to it, we're just getting tired to never ending traffic and crowded space. I never thought, I would be in the situation of those commuters fighting for their sit (in which I used to watch on TV when I was a kid). I remember one time, I went home late because I failed to catch a jeep going to San Jose due to full loaded passengers. It took me two hours to successfully board since many students are also waiting that time. Rush hour starts at 5 pm on the second gate of CLSU since it is the usual time for the out of the students. At some point, this experienced becomes an eye opener to me. It made me realized of the everyday challenges and situation of Filipino commuters in the Philippines.

On the brighter side, living far from home taught me to develop a sense of personal growth. I learned to be independent on my own and lift my own water. Additionally, being resilient and adaptive to the environment where I moved to. I learned new skills as well and my knowledge have broadened especially on my perspectives and worldview of many things. For instance, when I wad a kid, I looked up at politicians with wide-eye admiration. They appeared to be heroes, fighting for justice and peace in our country's future. Everytime they appear in front of large audience, I find myself impressed by their promises and goals for the people. I thought they were selfless public servants who worked tirelessly for our betterment. As I became older, I started to notice irregularities. I saw the dark side of politics, where many politicians do not keep their promises and actions do not match their rhetoric. Many are corrupt, enabling abuses, breaking the law, and violating human rights. The heroes I once admired suddenly appeared imperfect, even deceptive. As I approached my teen years, I began to doubt the system. Why did they indulge in petty politics rather than tackling pressing issues? Why did politicians place their own interests above the demands of the people? Are they actually public servants? It was during the pandemic that I began to understand the complexity of politics. I saw how lobbying and corruption molded policy, how special interest groups influenced choices, and how personal goals frequently overshadowed public good. I quickly discovered that politicians are not superheroes, but rather individuals with their own goals, sometimes motivated by a desire for power and personal gain. Although there are some good politicians, they do not serve in the government. They are the unsung heroes-community leaders, activists, and everyday residents who labor relentlessly for the greater good. Today, I view politicians through a critical perspective. I recognize their humanity and the challenges they face, but also expect accountability and transparency. I seek tangible actions and results; I demand more than empty promises. We Filipinos deserve more.

Throughout my journey, all I could say was that I am grateful and thankful for the opportunity to meet different people in my life. People that helped me get through the ups and downs of life. Some have even served as stepping stones in my journey to this point. Others remain history, but as what Paulo Coelho quoted; If someone leaves it's because someone else is about to arrive. Odd, that from a young age, we were taught to accept separation as an inevitable part of life. We learn to cope with farewells, departures, and goodbyes, whether it's moving away from family, ending relationships, or leaving childhood. Yet, despite this early conditioning, the ache of separation persists, often intensifying as we grow older. Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted; I yelled "para po" and the bus halted.

As I stepped off the bus, I felt a sense of peace wash over me. The cacophony of city life faded into the distance, replaced by the presence of fresh air. True enough, there is no place like home.

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