Shouts and Sweet Surrender.

Chapter 6: Fragments of Us

Lola watched as Ian disappeared into the distance, his figure growing smaller with each step he took away from her. It felt like something inside her was fracturing, breaking apart piece by piece, but she couldn't move. Her feet felt glued to the dock, rooted to the spot where they had stood together only moments before. The lake's gentle waves mirrored her internal turmoil—calm on the surface, but beneath the water, chaos raged.

The sun was setting, casting streaks of pink and orange across the sky, but for Lola, everything felt grey, washed out. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to gather the warmth that had left with Ian, but all she felt was cold. Cold and empty.

She remembered something Ian had said once, long ago. "You can't build walls forever, Lola. Sooner or later, someone's going to knock them down."

He had been right. Ian had been the one to get past those walls, and now that he was gone, she realized just how much she had let him in. The thought of losing him for good sent a shiver down her spine.

She turned her gaze to the water, its surface rippling gently in the evening breeze. The reflections of the clouds danced across it, swirling like the memories of her and Ian. It was here, on this very dock, where they had shared so many moments. Moments that were now just fragments, slipping through her fingers like water.

"Why can't I just let him in?" she thought to herself. The answer eluded her, but deep down, she knew the truth. She was afraid—afraid of losing herself, of being vulnerable, of the possibility that Ian might break her heart.

But hadn't she already done that to him?

Lola let out a shaky breath, her hands gripping the edge of the dock as if it could anchor her to something real. But the truth was, everything felt like it was slipping away. Ian, their friendship, whatever chance they might have had at something more. It was all drifting out of her reach.

"I never wanted to hurt him."

The thought hung in her mind, heavy with regret. She could still see the look in his eyes as he'd turned to leave—disappointed, hurt, but more than anything, tired. Tired of waiting for her to decide, tired of holding on to something that she wasn't sure she could give.

"You can't keep pretending like none of this matters."

His voice echoed in her head, and she closed her eyes, wishing she could block it out. But she couldn't. Ian was right—she had been pretending for so long, hiding behind her walls, keeping him at a distance. And now, it was all catching up with her.

The sky grew darker, the colors fading into deep purples and blues, but Lola stayed where she was, lost in her thoughts. The world around her seemed to blur, the only clear thing the ache in her chest that wouldn't go away.

"We're just fragments of something that never really started," she whispered to herself, her voice barely audible. It was the first time she had admitted it out loud—that she and Ian had been living in the in-between, caught somewhere between friendship and something more, but never fully crossing the line. And now, it seemed like they never would.

She pressed her fingers to her temple, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. Why is it so hard to let someone love me?

The thought cut through her like a knife. She had spent so much time protecting herself, building up walls to keep people out, that she hadn't realized the damage it was doing. And now, the one person who had gotten close enough to break through those walls was the one she was pushing away.

"You deserve better than this," she remembered Ian telling her once, his voice soft but firm. "You deserve someone who's going to fight for you, even when it's hard."

She had laughed it off at the time, brushing it aside like it didn't matter. But now, sitting here alone, she realized how much his words had meant. He had always fought for her—for them. Even when she didn't know how to fight for herself.

"You deserve someone who's going to stay."

Her heart clenched at the memory, tears finally spilling down her cheeks. Ian had stayed through everything—through her uncertainty, her fear, her walls. But now, she had pushed him too far, and she wasn't sure if he would ever come back.

The sky was almost completely dark now, stars beginning to twinkle above. Lola watched them, her mind drifting. What if it's too late? What if she had already lost him?

"I love him." The realization hit her like a wave, crashing over her and leaving her breathless. She had been so afraid of admitting it, even to herself. But now, with Ian gone, there was no point in denying it anymore. She loved him. She had always loved him.

But had she waited too long?

She stood up slowly, her legs shaky as she took one last look at the lake, the stars reflecting on its surface like a thousand tiny reminders of everything she had been too scared to say. The wind picked up, rustling the leaves in the trees, and for a moment, Lola thought she heard Ian's voice again, soft and full of longing.

"You're worth the wait, Lola. But I can't wait forever."

With a deep breath, she turned and started walking back toward the cabin. She didn't know what she was going to say to him, or if it would even make a difference. But she had to try. Because if she didn't, she would lose him forever, and that was a pain she wasn't sure she could survive.