Jackson Wang : Dopamine

Chapter 1

(This interview is based on real interviews that Jackson has done. His answers are therefore not made up... yeah, it's sad.)

"A fan asked, 'Around people, I feel happy and alive, but as soon as I get home, I feel lonely and depressed. Am I the only one?' Have you ever felt like that?"

Jackson looked at his longtime friend, whom he hadn't seen in two years, sitting on the couch, and for a moment, he hesitated to answer. Sure, it was his friend, but he knew this interview would be seen by thousands of people once it was posted on YouTube. He finally decided to be honest, as he has always been about his emotions.

"I've definitely felt like that. I know today, in this moment, that I'm really happy to be here. But once I'm back home, I know I'll be... um... alone again. I know that."

He hesitated again but decided to keep going, knowing that this interview was meant to be transparent and honest with the audience. He also remembered his friend's words at the start of the interview, asking him to be completely open today.

"You know, I've always had this idea that... I've always wanted to express in a music video; I've never talked about it before. Every time I leave my house, I never turn off all the lights. I always leave one on, even if I'm gone for months, the living room light will always stay on just so that..."

He paused for a few seconds, thinking of the right words to express his thoughts to his friend, but also to the people who would watch the interview.

"... just so that when I come home, it feels like someone's waiting for me."

His friend looked at him attentively.

"Really?"

Jackson nodded.

"I think the reason I feel so lonely is that every time I leave, it's like a battlefield for me. I solve problems one after another, and then when everything's done and people move on, once I'm home, where's the shoulder I'm supposed to lean on, you know? So no matter what kind of day I've had, I come home kind of grateful for that light that was left waiting for me. You know, like... 'At least you're waiting for me, thank you.'"

"Yeah, I totally get that."

---

After about 45 minutes, the interview was nearing its end when Eric brought up a more personal topic.

"Alright, let's talk about love. Are you seeing anyone right now?"

Jackson sighed softly, fidgeting with his hands before replying.

"Honestly, I really want to be in a relationship."

Eric laughed, thinking Jackson was joking. But Jackson was serious. He was tired of those superficial flings that never led anywhere.

"Wait, you? You want that?"

"Yeah, man. It's exhausting, you know? I've spent so much time talking to people, texting... and it's never led to anything. It's been a year and a half since I've had a real connection."

"A year and a half?"

"Yeah. And it's frustrating. You have conversations, you think there's something serious there, and then... nothing. It just fizzles out. I'm not even sure I'd call it flirting. It's just... texting, you know."

"You're litteraly Jackson Wang, it should be easy for you, right?"

Jackson let out a bitter laugh.

"No, being famous makes it even more complicated. You know, sometimes I'll talk to girls when I travel. We chat for a bit, and then... that's it. 'Thanks, goodbye.' Like, what the fuck?"