That's How it Happens

4. Breathe me

The TV broadcast an array of Christmas colors, but Ainsley wasn't paying attention or working, which was why she had jumped on the pre-festive bandwagon. She was hoping the holiday spirit would stir up some ideas. Instead, the laptop sat open on her favorite editing program, along with the boxes of art supplies; they littered the coffee table, surrounding a wine glass like leftover party confetti.

The only party, though, was a pity one.

Running into Peter had never crossed her mind. Frankly, she had never thought she'd see him again except for a brief passing when she visited home, which couldn't be helped. That is if she had ever gone back there, which she hadn't, but that was an entirely different subject. She bailed on their date tonight, far too scared of how the night would leave her. She didn't like how things seemed to seep out after seeing him. Since their meeting, she had been even more anxious about the upcoming holiday, and she couldn't help but overanalyze the entire scenario. Would Peter run off to tell her mother he had seen her at an auction? The idea made her sick to her stomach, and going on a date with him? The very thought almost made her hyperventilate. Why wouldn't it after their last meeting? Would he question her or, worse, act like it never happened? Instead, she told him she didn't feel well and asked for a raincheck. He had offered to come over and nurse her, but she hadn't given up any more information other than she would get with him about her future schedule.

The entire situation just made Ainsley realize how pathetic her life actually was. She had left home and him to become a lonely, old spinster, or so Victoria would tell her. She only lacked a bunch of cats-and a doting boyfriend or someone who at least played the part. And that thought only led her to the current problem.

The whole purpose of her agreeing to the auction was to find a potential candidate to take to her mother's, yet all she found was history. She hadn't even been that upset over Chris until Peter. Why did he have to break up with her before the engagement party? It wasn't the first time a guy had bailed because her life was too hectic for them, but to be told she wasn't good enough was a first for her. It brought on a flood of memories and emotions she wasn't prepared to cope with no different than running into Peter. It surprised her how easily the emotions poured out, and she wanted to plug that off as fast as possible. She never wanted to be that person again.

Nor did she have the time. There was a deadline. Ainsley grabbed her wine glass, drained it, and glared at the smiling couple staring at her from the Photoshop window of the laptop.

More wine would be needed to deal with that.

Two hours later, work had been forgotten. Ainsley was a bottle and half deep in wine, and a new sappy holiday movie was playing on the TV. Not that she was paying attention to it. How could she when her mind was playing its own version of a sappy reel?

Staring at the photo had only sparked rampant thoughts of weddings, holidays, and dates. The idea of going home stag wasn't appealing. Chris had been the perfect candidate. Mother would not only approve of him but would have loved everything about him, including his stupid pet names, good looks, and arrogance. Going home alone, though, on a holiday after not seeing her for five years? It sounded like that judgment would send her straight to hell.

Instead, she had spent the last five years with Leo's family. They were amazing. Caring and loving, Leo's mom always welcomed Ainsley with open arms, which was the complete opposite of her mother. Victoria was often cold, and hugging had never been a part of her vocabulary, nor were compliments unless they were about how perfect Liv was. She had always held her out at arm's length, constantly telling her how she should be instead of loving who Ainsley was. Liv always had the perfect hair, perfect outfits, and perfect boyfriends; many perfect boyfriends, to be exact.