That's How it Happens

5. Blanket Statements

The TV broadcast an array of Christmas colors, but Ainsley wasn't paying attention or working, which was why she had jumped on the pre-festive bandwagon. She'd hoped the festive spirit might spark some inspiration – or at least lift her mood. Instead, her laptop sat open on her favorite editing program, along with the boxes of art supplies; they littered the coffee table, surrounding a half-full wine glass like leftover party confetti.

Except there was no party. Just a quiet, self-hosted pity one.

Running into Peter had never crossed her mind. Honestly, she'd assumed she'd never see him again – maybe a fleeting glimpse if she ever went home, which she hadn't. That was a whole other mess. She bailed on their date tonight, far too scared of how the night would leave her. Ever since their unexpected reunion, anxiety had crept in like a fog, clouding her thoughts about the upcoming holiday.

Would Peter tell her mother he'd seen her at the auction? The idea made her stomach churn. And going on a date with him? The very thought almost made her hyperventilate. Why wouldn't it after their last meeting? Their last encounter had been too brief and far too surprising to have an in-depth conversation, but dinner with just the two of them... Would he question her or, worse, act like it never happened? The imagined version was daunting.

Instead, she told him she wasn't feeling well and asked for a raincheck. He had offered to come over and nurse her - surprisingly, she hadn't cringed - but she gave him nothing beyond vague promises to reconnect later. She had given up guys' night for this.

The whole situation just made her realize how pathetic her life actually was. She had left home – and him – to chase something bigger, only to end up alone in the end. A lonely spinster, as Victoria would say. All she was missing were the cats. She groaned aloud.

Why didn't she have a doting boyfriend? Or at least someone who could fake it convincingly.

And that thought led her to the real problem.

She'd agreed to go to the auction, hoping to find a potential date – someone presentable, maybe even promising. Instead, she found history. She hadn't even been that upset about Chris until Peter showed up. Well... sort of.

Why did Chris have to break up with her before the engagement party? It wasn't the first time a guy had bailed because her life was "too hectic," for them, but to be told she wasn't good enough? That was a first. It cracked something open – memories, emotions – none of which she was prepared to deal with, none of which she wanted to. Just like running into Peter. The way those feelings poured out so easily terrified her. She wanted to seal them off, fast. She never wanted to be that version of herself again.

Not that she had time for emotional unraveling. There was always a deadline. That was the story of her life.

Ainsley grabbed her wine glass, drained it, and glared at the smiling couple frozen in the Photoshop window on her laptop. More wine would be required to deal with that.

Two hours later, work was forgotten. Ainsley was a bottle and a half deep, and a new sappy holiday movie was playing on the TV. Not that she was watching. Her mind was busy screening its own disheartening reel.

That photo had triggered a spiral – weddings, holidays, dates. The idea of going home alone was unbearable. Chris, the arrogant ass hat, had been the perfect candidate. Her Mother would've adored him: the pet names, the jawline – she paused and then shook her head – the ego. Showing up stag after five years away? That kind of judgment could send her straight to hell.

She'd spent the last few years with Leo's family instead. They were warm, welcoming – his mom always greeted her with open arms. The complete opposite of Victoria. Her own mother was often cold, and hugging had never been a part of her vocabulary, nor were compliments unless they were about how perfect Liv was. She had always held her out at arm's length, constantly telling her how she should be instead of loving who Ainsley was. Liv always had the perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect boyfriends. So many perfect boyfriends.