His Privilege, Her Pleasure

Chapter 13 - The Royal Routine

After that horrible night, I cried like a baby. I sobbed and wept and couldn't bring myself to get out of the bed the first two days. For the last four months, Kieran has ignored my tears and forced me to do as told. I have courtesan courses, a speech teacher, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, a stylist and now a personal professor & tutor. Kieran had really thought this entire plan through.

My rebellion would mean nothing in the wake of his power and connections. I am utterly defeated in will power and now I just hope for death to find me. Most days, I don't speak anymore, not unless Kieran asks me a question. I guess that's how he wanted it cause he never noticed. I am usually escorted by Sebastian wherever I go; when he ogles me or teases me, I say nothing.

I have cried more times than I can count and I wish this cruel game would just end. Why do I deserve to be hurt by such a monster? I have hurt no one who hasn't hurt me first. I have never had many people in my life to call friends or family. Everything I got, I have scraped and scratched together to be where I am. Now I am a prisoner.

Every morning, Kieran wakes me up for my punishment and then he makes me clean myself up for the day. After all my disobedience towards my...master, he has deemed it fit that I receive beatings with excruciatingly painful toys. He uses paddles, riding crops, sometimes even whips. He never struck me hard enough to leave a scar, but they all hurt regardless. I wish I could just receive his mercy, but he has hardened himself to me.

Kieran hasn't really touched me since that night. I would cry every time, even when he made me look him in the eye. Even when we share meals together, I barely eat and instead cry as if I am all alone. Tonight was no different; we both sat at the table in our room and tried to eat our meals in peace. But, I couldn't help the sobs that came out. I could barely take a few bites before I was crying and wiping snot from my nose.

"Enough," he says as he slams his fist on the table. "I've had it with all the fucking crying!"

His abrupt anger jolted me, but I remain quiet.

"I can't deal with the incessant, pitiful crying any longer. Either you stop this or I will..." Kieran stopped his words as he looked at my face.

I am shaking like a heroin addict who's been itching for their next fix. Kieran was gripping the edges of the table with pure frustration as he looked at me. He sucked his teeth as he contemplated what to say next.

"You know what...just...wrap your food up and go to bed. We have a long day tomorrow," he says, putting his napkin over his untouched food.

"Yes, master," I say as I quickly get up from the table and grab my plate.

I try to move as swiftly as possible; Kieran doesn't like it when I waste his time after he has given me a command. My hands are still shaking and I clumsily drop the fork and knife on the ground. Kieran hates stains on the rug or food on the floor, it wasn't about the cost; it was about being orderly. His OCD meant if I wasn't cleanly enough he would hurt me like before. I try to grab them but wind up knocking my plate off the edge of the table.

Kieran growls at my mistake and gets out of his chair. I am sure he will strike me and I can't deal with anymore pain today. I back away from him and cower with my hands covering my face. He is almost above me when I scream 'wait' and wrap arms around my head in a ball. I scream like I never have in anticipation of his fists in my face or stomach.

But, after a few moments, nothing has happened. I can hear myself crying like I am going to be killed. But when I peek up at him through my arms, he looks almost...upset at the way I was cowering from him. Kieran's face contorts with so many emotions I had never seen from him before. He cautiously steps towards me again, but I continue to scurry away from him. What the hell is going through his mind?