it was a very normal morning in the fudge factory, the factory where two certain people who happened to know eachother worked.
times and nox, who happened to be two people, were of course the star employees, they both tended to be employees of the month because they loved packing that fudge, but today was a very particularly difficult day.
there was so much fudge that it was so overwhelming (it was the fudge packer party, a very specific holiday for under appreciated fudge packing people like times and box) so they both had to head home.. but, being the bestest of friends who only saw eachother at work, they deeply missed eachother.
times, taking the initiative this time, got up from bed to call him on the computer (even though his phone was right there).
"n-noxiepoxiepoo? my little kitten? are you there?" he begins, sweating up a storm. it always makes him so nervous to talk to his pookie wookie meowmeow, you know?
nox, grabbing his phone, picks up the call while making some fire lyrics for his SoundCloud cult I MEAN very devoted audience or something. never heard any of his songs before but if you liked flaccid penis then youll like these fire tracks. #davestridercore except not or something idk
anyways he picks up and he goes "hello pookiewookiedookieshmookicookiebear.. what do you WANT im trying to cook up something fire"
times goes "need a blumpie. need it sooo bad"
"what" —nox
"you heard me. i want it NOW. a blumpie for the birthday boy"
"it's not even your birthday, freak. now let me cook—" nox says as he slams his fists onto the tablet screen and starts screaming things, devious things i cannot repeat here in this fic. use your imagination.
"hold on let me turn on my camera—" times does just that, "you see how its black? how there's nothing? thats me. how i feel whenever im not with you at work, noxiepookiebear. and thats also me when i DKNT GET MY FUCKING BLUMPIE. IM GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF. I'M TWEAKING. SKIBIDI. SKIBIDI JELQ. HAWK TUAHING IT IN OHIO WITH MAXIMUM FLICKER GOONING AURA AND—"
"OKAY FINE!!!!!! SHUT RHE FUCK UP. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!" and then nox heads over and gives times the most mid blumpkin he could possibly muster, because he's not on the blowing grind. he's on the music grind. he needs to musicmax. hes autisming the FUCK out even though he's not autistic. but i am, so its okay.
times clings onto his pookie wookie bear and sniffles.. "that was peam, i fear"
and then scotty hitlip stone (because i cant be fucking bothered to remember the shir in the middle) from hit canceled roleplay pokenronpa eyes of dispar season 3 ruthless renaissance or however you spell that shows up in the middle of everything and goes "heh... room for one more?"
"oh scotty hitlip stone! youre so silly" times says and then gets killed five seconds later because hes a comedy character and thats all he'll ever be. fucking loser. the only aura bro has is GREEN with FLIES in it.
um anyways uhhhh the fudge packer party-ers keep touching eachother sexual style because theyre freaked up and rizzful or something idk ... um and then they get lots of STDS like the gay guys from falsettos (the musical) and DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! moral of the story: I HATE GAY PEOPLE!!!! STOP TOUCHING!!!!!!!
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
