Unherd (The Unpublished Edition)

Prologue

Deep breaths and weak knees. Barnaby Hirsch clung to the edge of the marble countertop as if it were a melting ice pack. Having spent hours sitting in the sun, he thought he'd been through the worst of it-

And yet, despite all of his planning and mental preparation, he'd somehow forgotten how overstimulating the bowling alley would be.

The bathroom door flung open, and Barnaby flinched, shrinking himself further.

"They're turning the music down."

He breathed a sigh of relief, immediately recognizing the nasally voice. "That's good," he wheezed. "I'm sorry."

Seth leaned against the door. "Do you need to go wait in the car?"

Barnaby shook his head, struggling to swallow the lump in his throat. His mouth was too dry. "I'll be fine-" Leaning over the sink, he splashed his face with water, praying it would help. "I just need to...ride it out."

Seth grumbled, "We could've made plans somewhere else, y'know. I don't think anyone would've cared."

They'd picked the bowling alley because it was convenient for everyone and because it was something they could all agree on. Maybe next year, Barnaby would have more of a say, but in the meantime, he wasn't the one graduating.

The Old Seth would have made sure he knew that.

"I appreciate it," Barnaby sighed, "but I know you're only saying it to make me feel better."

He caught Seth rolling his eyes in the mirror. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing-" Barnaby washed his hands once more for good measure, patting his arms dry with a paper towel before turning to him- "but I want to be here. I like coming here."

"Maybe-" Seth scanned him up and down, stepping forward- "part of your problem is dressing for a Bar Mitzvah at a graduation party." He tugged Barnaby's bowtie loose, unbuttoned his polo, untucked the hem from his slacks, and ruffled his hair. "There. Can you breathe now?"

The last thing Barnaby wanted was to be prodded and picked at, but the second Seth stepped away, he felt his lungs relax.

"I wanted to look nice for him," he muttered, "that's all."

"You look better than any of us, dude-" Seth's arm swung around Barnaby's shoulders, and he started toward the door- "Out of the guys, anyway. Diana can go fuck herself."

Barnaby snorted, "She made that dress, Seth. I can't take that away from her."

"But you can do this-" His friend paused to make eye contact. "Ready?"

Barnaby paced his final few deep breaths, cleared his throat, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "Is there a straight path to the table?"

Seth thumped his back. "We can make one."

Without any further warning, he rushed them through. Barnaby ducked his head, squinting against the harsh lights. He braced himself for a collision, all but locking up the instant someone knocked against his flank.

Raul kept him steady and walking, slipping one arm under Seth's. "How're we feeling?"

Barnaby picked up his heart. He was breathing. He was safe. He was- "Better." He cleared his throat, trying to speak up, "Did they start?"

"Nope," Raul beamed, "we waited for you."

Barnaby flushed. When he finally had the courage to lift his head, he realized the vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry-themed lanes were already in front of them.