Lovely obsession

Chapter 2

                                          Melissa
                 "Careful, guys. The bad bitch is back."

There was no light in the world. Only darkness. The same one that has followed me all my life.

I had never thought much about death before, even though it had always been right behind me. I just lingered nearby, but never too close, so thoughts of it never occupied my mind. Like many others, I believed that on the threshold between life and death, a person would surely see a blinding white light showing them the way.

That is a lie.

Believe me, I've been to the other side. But the light pouring from the window into my eyes was blinding for sure. I had no idea where I was or what I was doing here. Only fragments of the past remained fresh, replaying in my mind. I remembered everything that had happened until the darkness swallowed me. I had messed up. I had screwed up badly.

The last memory I had was our fight with Lilith, or more precisely, how she fiercely tried to convince me that my children would remain trapped in a web of lies. She must have overheard my conversation with Alex and jumped to conclusions. She didn't give herself a chance to think it through and then she shot me.

Damn. That woman shot me.
This is madness. Not the craziest thing in my life, of course, but it would have been a shame to die at the hands of such a woman. At the hands of a psychopath.

I'm a psychopath too. I never denied it. But still, she is not like me. If I shot, I did it consciously. I knew what I was doing. The only times I attacked someone unconsciously were because of Roman. But Lilith? I could still hear her scream when my body hit the floor.

Lilith used Alex's gun, the one he had taught me to shoot with long before Roman, in case I needed to defend myself. That's exactly what I did every time I pulled the trigger. I defended myself. My honor. But this time the bullet hit me.

As terrible as it was, what hurt more was that for the first time in my life, I hadn't anticipated my enemy's move. However, I deserved it: because I had given in to emotions. That was my mistake.
"Think about your enemy's thoughts, not about the mess in your own head," my brother used to whisper to me every time my hand shook while holding a weapon.

Nevertheless, I should have acted that way. And I would have done it again and again, even if I couldn't survive every time. Because at that moment, I knew my children had to be with me. They were scared. They were terrified. And most importantly, they wanted to leave with me. That was what mattered most.

But how, for God's sake, did I end up here? I only remembered falling. And then...Roman. He was there too. But how? I could swear it was just my imagination. He wasn't supposed to be there. But I also remembered his warm hands on my cold skin. I said something, and he...he said something too... I was saying goodbye. At one point, I really thought death would be the best way out.

Dying would have been easier, right? So much, much easier. Maybe there, in hell, I could have been weak. There wouldn't be so many bastards, traitors, and other filth that suddenly surfaced, dragging me deeper into the abyss. But clearly, something inside me didn't allow me to give up so easily.

Melissa Kirillova is not like that. She is strong, brave, puts men on their knees, and can easily avoid death. I now have two scars on my body. One because three beautiful creatures came into this world, and the other because of the monster who raised them. I am not weak.

In fact, everyone is strong. We survive every day, learning, working to gain knowledge and food. We sleep, we move, all to ensure our many organs function properly, especially the most important one – the heart. I closed my eyes again, feeling dizzy.